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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 21:51:58
In no way is this meant to be argumentive or suggestive, or anything else contraversial. It's just something I would like to discuss as I seriously am confused about it. Please forgive me if I appear to insult anyone about anything seriously I have raging hormones for the first time in my life this thyroid thing is ridiculous. Now for the meat I will try and explain. When I was in my teens and twenties I was indestructable and life would be forever problem free. Live in a house with a white picket fence flowers planted all around a husband and smiling kids no illness life would be grand. Now for the years until my late 40's I felt this way and thought I would never get ill, I would always have plenty of energy, no wrinkles or ailments that a pill lie an antibiotic couldn't fix. So I could have been a bit reckless if not married with kids. I was almost a flower child so happy I wasn't as I would probably be dead today from all the illegal meds. peace marches etc. Who ever thought I would age and my body let me down. Well too fast you do get old and your options are not what they were. You start physically to get illnesses and things that in your youth you never dreamed you'd have as you'd be young and well forever. Well guess what I am getting older, I can no longer run, or have the energy I did. Have to take meds for organs that have failed like the thyroid or have gotten ill with things like chronic lymes disease. I've worked in hospitals younger and looked at people my age with tragic illness who would give anything just to be able to walk or sit up. Their quality of life isn't what they expected it to be. My example I'll use is my Son. He did his share of illegal meds, and then became blind in Desert Storm with a family to take care of and support. Depression hit him for a few years. He first hid it in sleep and alchohol then he went to ECU was summa cum laude in Social Work began to pick-up the pieces of his life and look forward to life again was on an antidepressant and realized it couldn't change his life only he could. So he got off the meds and now only has some ativan for extreme anxiety. So my message is enjoy your life it could change walking across the street forever and you might need meds forever just to survive. I think we set our expectations of how we should feel too high. As if you achieve the expectations what will you do if puff it goes away with illness. This board is on mental illness it can strike also any time. So take what you have and enjoy it. As someday you will get old . You can't fight that. You may to need to go on meds you dont want to. I have and I am doing what my pdoc says to do and you know I have failed at times to follow through but now I am. So I have reseached doctors in the area. I would publicly thank a certain person but can't hopefully they will know who they are for helping in my search. All I ask out of life at this point is a little bit of happiness before I can no longer walk. Love Phillipa please all be careful with your meds and let your docs know of any strange things happen and follow his advise. We're only mortals here. Some more knowledgeable than others and maybe some docs under screennames that would like to remain ananymous. I love you all.
Posted by rjlockhart on March 9, 2007, at 22:09:26
In reply to So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 21:51:58
I read the whole thing.
Man, well now i know what life can do to you, i right now dont have a happy flower life, its not that good. Alot of pressure.
But hearing about your son in the past really sounds like PSTD to you and your son. Im so sorry. But that cant really help saying what has happened.
Have you been like intrested in a life-improvement group, or groups in church, you meet, talk about whats going, this is also in secular world too. But church is very warm and welcoming, well some, not all churches are friendly (Christianity wise) Its just the personality of the church. I go to Gateway church, they are so friendly there, caring, there some people that arnt but who cares!
About the depression part have you asked about stimulants and antidepressant? well i mean stimulants dont make past regrets go away, some people i think use opieates to get away.
Have you ever asked about Nardil? well, im actaully scared of nardil. Too many complications. Like Paranate.
Phillipa, ask your doctor about something stronger for depression, maybe a med combo, but this is nothing to make the past go away, and im sorry about that. Therapy?
Well stay in there. And thank you for being kind to awnser everone's posts.
Smile!
Posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 22:18:41
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by rjlockhart on March 9, 2007, at 22:09:26
Matt you're a sweetie no I'm not looking for meds just letting others know that you need to work really hard and know that life isn't going to be perfect. Love Jan
Posted by rjlockhart on March 9, 2007, at 22:33:36
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe » rjlockhart, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 22:18:41
Oh yea,
I know life, well have you seen Joel Olsteen, or that Preacher that smiles all the time, well i do think everyone has bad moments, but some people, i dont know, ,mmmmmmmmmmmmmm have some sort of mind set, i would say optimistic minded, i swear i wished i was.
I get optimistic sometimes, not all. Most of the time i switch from negitive, to normal, to postive. Im usally normal but when im mad or in a bad mood, i dont see how people still smile.
You know Joel Olsteen, the really popular precher that was on larry king that was called the "smiling precher"
Diffrent stuff that happens, well he said when he was 7 he broke his arm, i didnt belive him but on TV in his 15000 seated church, he was smiling all the way even in pain, well he must be really hypomanic and never crash. I would love to be like that.
I have heard smiling alot, even if you fake smile makes you brain think good is happpening. I have tried it...........hasnt worked that much. But always.......smile! you just be on a candid camera and be put on the News!
Hey thats not a reality mode, but its a optimistic thought.
Matt
Posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 22:47:32
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by rjlockhart on March 9, 2007, at 22:33:36
I think what I'm trying to say is isn't it wonderful to be in love to see a new born baby and then find out they have a heart defect and there is nothing you can do about it? Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on March 10, 2007, at 0:31:08
In reply to So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 21:51:58
Hey, PJ, that was a lovely post. I particularly liked: >I think we set our expectations of how we should feel too high< and I could add, that we might be happier with lower expectations because we would be more appreciative when things are OK. A little bit of acceptance in life (as in the family) goes a long way. I've been bad enough at it.
I am suspicios of the language of empowerment, not because I want people to be helpless, but because wilfulness is a problem........in psychiatry especially?
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 10, 2007, at 6:39:30
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this b, posted by Declan on March 10, 2007, at 0:31:08
Hey PJ, I thought it was a lovely post too! Some very good advice. To be honest, I'm kinda the other way around - I'm all doom and gloom about my future, I need to relax abit more and enjoy the present. Well enjoy my youth I suppose. I'll miss it when its gone although I do tend to think its a touch overrated. Anyway I'm happy you have this new pdoc.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by SandyWeb on March 10, 2007, at 12:44:18
In reply to So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 21:51:58
Hi Phillipa,
Congratulations for sticking around for this individual journey through life. It is your one and only chance, right? This isn't a dress rehearsal and we can't go back and say that I want to do that part over again. So we have to make the most of the situations we find ourselves in.
Like you, I was optimistic throughout my life....even during my 12-years of an abusive marriage. I just always saw the glass as half-full, and ALWAYS looked for something good (no matter how small) in every event that happened. And I always found something. I believed in people, I believed in life, I believed in God, and I believed in myself having a purpose.
Well, my psych problems began in earnest 4 years ago this month. And I tried to remain the same person as before, but you know what? I don't think we CAN have the same high expectations that we once had. We have to realize that we now have certain limitations that if we cross the line, we will only make ourselves worse. I learned that my ability to deal with stress was at a lower level, so now I know that I can only handle a certain amount of stress before it will make me feel suicidal. So I'm trying to adjust to that. We have to protect ourselves in order to be here for our loved ones and even to have experiences to share with others on PsychoBabble.
As for growing older, yikes!!!! YES!!!! When did this ever happen??? My lower back gives out sometimes. What?? I have grey throughout my hair. Huh?? Mountain biking or hiking through the hills. Can anyone say "respiratory distress"?? Lol. And the worst thing of all is that I *love* to read....and now I need reading glasses picked up from the local drug store. Ahhhhhhh! It's almost time for me to be the crazy woman who chases people around in her wheelchair at the nursing home!! LOL.
Well, this is the journey, right? We knew to expect it, of course. But it is a disappointment when age does catch up with us. You are an inspiration and wealth of knowledge to many of us here on the Board. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I hope you are doing well today.
God bless,
Sandy
Posted by Sandra62 on March 10, 2007, at 13:15:52
In reply to So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2007, at 21:51:58
Hi Phillipa, I think your name is Jan right? I used to come to Psycho-Babble a few years ago and just came back recently, as you may have noticed. I have always found your posts so helpful, this one is no exception. I turned 45 in January and I'm really struggling with my Bipolar right now, trying to find the right meds, and dealing with aging. I find you a warm person, and when you sign your posts "Love Phillipa" it makes me smile. I hope you are well.
Posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2007, at 18:30:08
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by Sandra62 on March 10, 2007, at 13:15:52
Thank-you all so much as I try and at least give encouragement to others when I can as just saying a few words to an unanswered thread lets the person know someone hears them. Sandra you are so sweet!!!!!Love Jan/Phillipa whatever
Posted by stargazer on March 11, 2007, at 9:14:00
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2007, at 18:30:08
Jan, this will be the third post to you regarding your post, the others got lost.
Basically what I had said to you was that, unlike you, I have had this problem forever, so I never take good things for granted. I think because of my depression, I was always able to relate to the underdog, since that was who I was. I gravitated to those who struggled because that was my experience.
It is only when depression disappears completely that I think I have similar experiences that others do all the time. Like not having to second guess things that I say or being criticized for being "too sensitive" or "too negative". Those comments I have heard all my life and I became so self conscious about it that I stopped talking about how I felt. I just learned to agree with others at the expense of my own feelings.
Most of my life was always trying to weigh how honest I could be with others. Mostly, I would deny being depressed by adapting to most situations; sometimes this worked, many times it didn't and I couldn't figure out why my perspective was always so negative, even when things were so positive .
I didn't seek help until I was in my late 20's although the signs were there in my early teens. I just realized the way I felt all the time was not normal.
I realize that life is filled with much good, but also alot of bad. The struggle for me is navigating both and trying to not get focused exclusively on the bad. Even when I'm not terribly depressed, I go in that direction. I always see the negative before I see the positive side of things. That is not always a bad thing unless I don't see the positive at all. That is when I know depression has returned. I used to not be able to see this happening.I'm glad you are looking at your situation philosophically now. We can get caught up in our own situation and forget everyone here has their own story. Your earlier "happy" life just shows me that nobody can predict what the future will bring. I do not envy others whose lives appear "happy" because I don't really believe a so-called "happy" life is the norm. I believe everyone will have both in their lives and some just get the unhappiness much earlier than others.
I always felt I was wiser than others my age because I saw so much negative early on. I would have given anything to not have gone through what I did, but we cannot change the past. I lost many experiences and opportunities because of it and I had such great potential.
I actually think I have entered a positive period in my life now, perhaps because I used up so much negativity in my early years.
Another belief of mine that I think I now accept is that depression is never cured. It can be with you for life and the only way to live with it is to continue to challenge it with different approaches. If you don't it will defeat you. Fighting it is the only chance you have to survive it.
Keep fighting Phillipa!
Posted by Phillipa on March 11, 2007, at 20:24:39
In reply to Re: So Many Vaiables Not Sure Where To Post this bothe, posted by stargazer on March 11, 2007, at 9:14:00
Stargazer you added the missing ingrediants to my thread thanks so much just hope others read it and realize that life will not always be a bowl of cherries. But fighting is what we must do and we will. Love Jan
This is the end of the thread.
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