Posted by gabmeister on June 14, 2006, at 16:35:16
In reply to Re: Tried Effexor for Three Days- Need advice, posted by over 55 on June 14, 2006, at 15:27:11
You know... you think you're the only one! Isn't it amazing how many of us there are.
I'm 55. Married for 7 years, husband turned out to be gay. Divorced him. Met a wonderful man 4 yrs later go married. Great life. But "it" still happened.
My mom and grandma both suffered depression. (Genetic?) I remember in the 70's mom would have been in her 40's when her's hit. Back then the "cure" was a new miracle drug known as Valium to which she became heavily addicted for years (but, on the surface, no one would have known because she was completely functional). I remember being in my 20's and getting calls asking me to come over because she felt like she was going to jump over the balcony. I swore I'd never turn out "like that". As was said, back then no one talked about this "illness". I remember spending weeks with her, helping her through the valium addiction. I swear to god (on my mother's urn), her dreadfully understanding doc even told her, "honey, things would get much better for you... you need regular sex (mom was divorced). I don't think I'm allowed to use the curse words on this site that I used to describe that "doctor" (I hate to credit him with this title).
Well, the depression hit me in my early 40's as well. Long story. Major panic attacks (one so bad I ended up in hospital 'cause doc thought was actually having a heart attack right in his office - the shot of Nitro didn't stop it so he figured heart attack). Work was crappy (have a high stress job). Anxiety attacks. Finally diagosed with depression.
Prozac (made me very aggressive), Paxil (turned me into walking zombie) Zoloft (did dick all). Finally family-doc suggested Effexor so I thought what the heck, may as well try. Worked great! Felt human. After about a year and a half psycho-doc felt I could try coming off it. Weaned myself off very slowly. Felt fine for about a year when Mr. Depression decided he wanted to visit me again. Back on Effexor. Worked for a while (been on it for 4 years now). Then about 3 years ago noticed I was gaining more weight (had been gaining every time I was on AD's). I've gained a total of 50 pounds. Then little by little I stopped leaving the house (come home straight from work; weekends? Come home Friday nite and don't leave house 'til Monday morning; don't shower all weekend [yeah, yeah... I know... ugh!!!]) Right now, I never leave the house except to go to work and even that is a struggle. Bottom line, for the last 2 years I don't "wanna do ANYTHING". Why? Can't be bothered. Everything's toooo much effort. Just don't care. Just don't *feel* anything. Dead inside. Zero. Zip. Ziltch.
That's why I want off this stuff again. It worked great for a while and I feel it saved me and my sanity. But the side-effects are now just too much. The benefits no longer out-weight the negatives.
I want to feel. I want to be *alive*. I want to do things.
Started lowering doseage today. I figure it'll take a couple of months (that's the ONLY way to avoid the withdrawal effects).
I will do it.
I don't know if down the road I will need AD's again, time will tell.
But right now getting off is what *I* need to do for *me*.
Bless you all. I truly believe it's not the drugs that are "evil" it's this mental illness known as "depression". If you've never lived it you'll never understand it. I get soooo angry with people who will look you in the face and utter that stupid comment, "what have you got to be depressed about?" Idiots. It's not like being a teenager and breaking up with your boyfriend. Most of us cannot necessarily pinpoint "the why". It's our brains messing with us. Chemical imbalances that we can't control? JERKS!
I wish all the rest of you on this road a safe journey.
the gabmeister
poster:gabmeister
thread:457503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20060602/msgs/656965.html