Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 11, 2010, at 0:02:43
In reply to Re: I don't want to carry on esp. this way warn. SI » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2010, at 8:00:58
Thanks so kindly for your support folks. I am sorry it is a bit in time coming, but it's not like on t.v...the next episode doesn't air next week...you know..lol. It has taken well over a week and so just to TRY to start to find stability. My head is just still spinning.
I am going to have to go through a) personal therapy (not really CBT..some type of psycho-dynamic) to address my major problem of just basking and needing attention of women, and letting them walk all over me, use me, and spit me out..(reverse mysogyny)..heh. Secondly, credit counseling is in order, as I spent 10's of grands in everything imaginable in this dark and really seedy lifestyle. I was always "safe", thank God, and I never did *hard* drugs or anything like that. But, I *own up to MY responsibility*, and with therapy of all kinds, and some of my readings into the depths of philosophy, spirituality, emotional intelligence, I haven't ever felt so confident (yes, I am scared a bit too) about 'moving on'.
Dinah you where right about the testosterone, but I have also pinned it down to a major increase in my nortriptyline, which has caused some similar behaviour in the past. (Ever tell a cop to go f*** themselves?..ya..wise move, eh? I was VERY lucky to have met such an understanding officer.)
So, here are some little takes about the world, that really hit home with me, and make me just want to SCREAM UNNNNNNNNFAAAIRRRRRRR....heh..
Brought Up To Believe (aka What the Hell happened?..lol)
I was brought up to believe
The universe has a plan
We are only human
Its not ours to understandI was brought up to believe....
In a world of cut and thrust
I was always taught to trust
In a world where all must fail
Heavens justice will prevailAll is for the best
Believe in what were told
Blind men in the market
Buying what were soldBelieve in what were told
Until our final breath
While our loving Watchmaker
Loves us all to death............................................................................Jay-meister
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:952957
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100528/msgs/954061.html