Posted by Deneb on April 10, 2006, at 21:43:45
I'm avoiding things again. I haven't studied in over 2 weeks now and I skipped an entire week of school.
I'm all happy and stuff when I don't think about studying or school, but what I'm really doing is avoiding things.
I'm so screwed! I'm getting my Mom to wake me up tomorrow to go to the library to study. Right now I think I may have to sacrifice one class to pass another class. I don't think I can study enough for molecular evolution. I've been doing really poorly in that class.
I don't think I'm really for school right now. I just don't have the mindset to study and go to class. Somehow I lost my way after high school. I think I really need the structure of high school. I did well in high school.
I have to get my degree, there's no giving up on that. I'm just too close not to finish, but it seems like I really hate the finishing part. Why don't I like studying? I used to love learning, now it is a chore. I've changed for the worse.
This summer, I'm going to try to learn on my own a bit, at my own pace. I feel like I know absolutely nothing.
Right now, I would be happy to pass 2 out of 3 classes. Then I'll have 4 more classes to go before I get my degree. I'll probably space that out next school year. I should probably take more than 4 classes, just in case I don't pass some.
I have no idea what I'm doing after I graduate. I'm so screwed. I think maybe I'll take a college course and get a diploma or certificate in something and just go with that. I'm not sure I can handle a job that requires too much of me.
I'm having a mini meltdown! These past couple of days I haven't been able to sleep. I just keep thinking about how uncertain my future is. What am I going to do? What career do I want? Over and over again, thinking... Ahhh! It's good that I'm at least thinking of my future now.
I'm excited about the future though. I don't expect too much. I'd be happy with a job that isn't too stressful and challenging. I can't seem to handle stress very well.
I can't wait to get a job!
I'm happy, but stressed and procrastinating big time!
I gotta get my butt to the library and study study study! I better get to the library by 10am and stay there until 11pm. That's how much darn studying I need to do!
I can see a future though. I'm excited about that. I'm going to do it.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:631578
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060406/msgs/631578.html