Posted by James K on February 8, 2006, at 13:23:36
In reply to Re: Epic post for the after 3:am'ers *trigger* » James K, posted by fairywings on February 8, 2006, at 8:46:01
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> Sounds like you know what's coming and know the only way to stop it is through hospitalization, so maybe that's a place to start? Maybe you can look at your alternatives. See if there's somehting you haven't tried before, something completely different to try.---the different thing to try would be completely buying into recovery and all the follow up and longterm relationship with therapist and pdoc.
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> What is it that made your wife get better more quickly? Why do you think you're bent on self destruction - I'm not criticizing, I think I'm just asking about what you've stated. I only want to try to understand. What does your wife think is the reason, and does she have any ideas about what would help? *You know a lot of the SI sites (self injury)* say ppl do the self destructive stuff to kind of snap themselves back into reality, to feel what they can't seem to feel w/o si. (when i was a teen, it was purely anger for me, so i don't know)---She, and I, think the problem is some kind of PTSD. I had so many little hurts and humiliations when I was young piled on top of each other, and I flash back. And I transfer current situations and feelings to those old feelings. Only now I have the power and I use it on myself.
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> Does your wife see a different pdoc? Is your current pdoc good, does he understand, is he helping? What are his ideas? Has he suggested anything different.---She had emdr and some therapy. and as the quality of her life improved so much, she just gradually got better. She is very strong.
I fired my pdoc when he told me to come in the hopital and 3 mornings later I tried to come in and the intake staff told the emergency room that there were no beds. I later found out he was talking to the doctors there, but the staff level people were so b.s. and they just sent me home all covered in blood, good luck. And I tried to go in two days later and they kept me sitting there for hours and then I bolted and they mentioned warrants and stuff and now I don't know how to get back to where I was. He was going to do testing on me for the first time. I only saw him twice. He is retired but runs that program, and I guess he took an interest in my case. I'm sounding like an idiot right now.
Have you considered getting a brain scan, like at the Amen Clinic?
> www.brainplace.com Maybe the meds you're on are targeting the wrong part of the brain?
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> Have you visited the forums on crazy meds?
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> http://www.crazymeds.org/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl
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> It's not only for meds, but to discuss different stuff like what's going on, diagnosis, novel treatment....stuff like that.
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----I'll go look at those.
know you said you're drinking less now, but have you tried AA? My dad was an alcoholic all his life, never got over it, and I don't want to see anyone go through that. I know you've probably tried a million diff. things, but keep trying. I can't imagine anything more diff. than getting off an addictive substance - so I'm pulling for you.----I've done so bad when I was sober, that it makes quitting seem pointless. I know better, it's just all tied up in all of this confusion. Being locked up will help because I can't make decisions if i get drunk when I'm freaking out already.
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> It is good you're having the eye surgery. Take good care of yourself, esp. afterwards when you have to be esp. careful. Maybe this will be a new beginning. Wish I had more to offer, wish I could say something profound that would make a diff.
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> fwthank you, what you've said has helped.
James k
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poster:James K
thread:607428
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060203/msgs/607533.html