Posted by TexasChic on January 25, 2006, at 20:14:58
In reply to Re: I've come to a conclusion. » ClearSkies, posted by TexasChic on January 23, 2006, at 17:58:02
At the job I have now they have layoff in the summer for three months. A few people are kept according to seniority. I got to stay last summer, but am going to be bumped out this summer.
One alternative is these workshops that take you all over the country to help schools design their yearbooks (that's what I do). The schools pay you and cover your expenses. I had been considering doing this.
Well anyway, today at break this girl who I've become friends with who did the workshops last year starts telling me how hard they are. She just goes on and on about how difficult and stressful they are. Before this she has always encouraged me about doing it. So I was kind of wondering what was up. Then she came over to my desk to tell me some more about how hard it was, and she mentions that 'they' were talking about the fact that I have panic attacks and anxiety problems, basically meaning that I probably couldn't handle the grueling schedule. I said, who is they? She just kind of brushed it off. It hadn't really sunk in what she said, I was still going, huh? It wasn't until later that I got mad.
See the thing is, last time we were out and I kept knocking beers over, I told this one guy about having anxiety and taking Xanax and Prozac. I also told him I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for the Prozac. Needless to say I was a little drunk at the time. I later regretted it, but he seemed really understanding and cool about it. Now I see he discussed it with the other two (at least). But that doesn't even make me so mad as the fact that this made them think I was incapable of doing a job they had done last year!
I didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day. I don't even know if I want to talk to them tommorow. Mostly I'm pissed at myself for being such a blabber mouth. But they could at least have not discussed and judged me about it.
I knew from past experiences that telling people has very mixed results depending on how educated they are on the subject. I had decided I wouldn't tell anyone anymore. Now I feel like I've screwed everything up and their opinion of me will never be the same. All I could think of all day was looking for another job.
I don't think I'll go out drinking with them anymore. Although, that's the only socialization I have these days.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:598840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060124/msgs/602816.html