Thanks for support--update--it's even worse

Posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 0:14:05

In reply to Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl, posted by Poet on June 9, 2005, at 22:38:39

Hi everyone.
I've got a weak smile going here. I appreciate everyone's support. Wish I could answer each individual, but I've got the crying headache going.
So, here's the thing. He did it on purpose.
Let me say that again. He did it ON PURPOSE!
Holy crap. I still don't quite believe it. He admitted it. Poor dear. Seems payback is a bitch, it seems. On his birthday, I was in a deep depression. I got him a lovely gift, but I just couldn't handle the dinner, so we did it another night.
Seems he's lonely and I am shutting him out. UM, this is NOT the way to go about correcting that! And um, see me curl up like a grub protecting that soft underbelly? And you wonder why I'm shutting you out? (sorry for shift in person...). Anyone remember the "I'm thinking of buying a gun, but I won't tell you about it" "joke" that he pulled before? And he wonders why I shut him out? I can't take too many body blows, especially when I'm getting them from all directions.
Laurie and Lar, thanks for the offer to knock him upside the head. I already blasted him. Seems that incident with the dude parked in the middle of the road has sparked a new me. Express that anger! Go ahead and say the f-word! You are PO'd! Go off. (Please note, I do not give this advice to my clients.) :-)
Anyway, it certainly felt authentic, and I'm sure it expressed that I was more than "a bit peeved."
I think we have a long and hard row to hoe here. I've been struggling with why I can't let myself let him in, in a number of ways. I know it's not realistic to believe that someone will never hurt you. But intentional hurt? I've just got to protect myself from that. I think he needs to earn my trust again, and that will not be easy or quick.
Sigh
I hate these damned crying headaches. And I feel like I'm going to hurl.
Off to bed to try to get some sleep.
Thanks again, folks. I'm so glad y'all are here.
gg

Thread

Birthday blues gardenergirl 6/9/05
...
Re: No, no, no, surely not..... alexandra_k 6/9/05
THE party of the year. » gardenergirl fallsfall 6/9/05
Re: 10:00 pm the boy returns » gardenergirl annierose 6/9/05
Re: THE party of the year. » fallsfall annierose 6/9/05
Re: (((((gg))))) All Done 6/9/05
Re: the boy » gardenergirl All Done 6/9/05
Re: 10:00 pm the boy returns » gardenergirl Larry Hoover 6/9/05
Re: Moose Tracks, please :) » fallsfall All Done 6/9/05
Re: 10:00 pm the boy returns » Larry Hoover All Done 6/9/05
Re: (((gardenergirl))) Deneb 6/9/05
Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl Jazzed 6/9/05
Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl Poet 6/9/05
Thanks for support--update--it's even worse gardenergirl 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse Sonya 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » gardenergirl partlycloudy 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » gardenergirl Dinah 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » Dinah gardenergirl 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » partlycloudy gardenergirl 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » Sonya gardenergirl 6/10/05
Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl AdaGrace 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » gardenergirl JenStar 6/10/05
Re: Birthday blues sunny10 6/10/05
Re: He did what???? » gardenergirl AuntieMel 6/10/05
Re: Warning My Above Post Could Be Offensive » AdaGrace AdaGrace 6/10/05
Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » gardenergirl fallsfall 6/10/05
...
Re: That's ok, so was my mom. » AuntieMel All Done 6/17/05

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