Posted by zenhussy on June 10, 2003, at 20:19:05
In reply to Re: life/death/eat/sleep/meds/work/docs/therapy-- , posted by kara lynne on June 10, 2003, at 18:39:05
Kara,
The mood shifts are what are getting the best of me today. One minute I'm feeling as if 'okay I can handle all this before I have to travel' and the next moment is 'holy schmoly why am I bothering to breathe at all?!' Yo yo girl.
I'm not really having disaster fears about the place while I'm gone just more concerned about the garden dying because I really enjoy the flowers and veggies I grow and am not sure they'll get the adequate care while I'm away. So more sad about potential garden loss than anything else.
I wish that lives were not in jeopardy with this trip but this family emergency requires me to travel. No way out. No huge guilt being laid on me but I do feel as if I am the only one to take care of this. Oh wait, that's because I am! So as much as I'd love to just burn the tickets I've already made arrangements for the place here while I'm away and my family is expecting me. Gotta go meet with the important family professionals: the lawyer, the money person, and the clergy.
I can relate to the imposter feeling in school. I'm sure you will do fine on your upcoming exams. I wish you some peaceful way of getting through them without horrible anxiety.
Thank you for the good thoughts. I'm in need of every little bit of goodness currently.
zHusszina
> Hi husser,
> Hope you're feeling better today. I also feel like it's a huge imposition to ask anyone to do anything for me (feed my cat eg) when I go away. What I would do for free for someone else, I offer money for--way over what I need to or can afford. I also have all the disaster fears before traveling--hey, I get them when I leave the house each day: What if there's an earthquake and the bookshelf falls on the cat (cancel, cancel) etc.etc.etc.... It sounds so familiar to hear you describe. It helped once when someone reminded me I can't control everything, nor am I supposed to--thank God.
>
> I know you will be fine once you go, but it's a shame to have to go through this anxiety. I know you're locked into going, but it might be interesting to just *consider* that you have the freedom not to. Even if it means (fill in the blanks), everyone would survive and life would go on. I know you are intending to go, and like I said I know that you will be alright, but it's not a bad idea just to play with.
>
> I also have a big exam hurdle coming up and all the associated stress. I have felt like an imposter the whole way though school--just waiting to be found out!
>
> Yes, the lovely distortion channel, isn't it fun?
>
> Well I thank you for responding to me, and now I'm sending some good thoughts back your way ((hustress)).
> Love,
> Kara
poster:zenhussy
thread:232829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/233041.html