Posted by beardedlady on April 23, 2002, at 6:08:04
In reply to Re: Whoa, Passive Aggressive Behavior, posted by Hollywood Jerry on April 22, 2002, at 3:02:13
John:
I think you're wrong. Sorry, but I do. And here are the reasons.
1. Passive/Agressive Behavior is not a big deal. Lots of people have that type of personality. It is not a psychological problem; it is a personality trait. No biggie d. Some people (me) are tough. Some people (not me) are nice. Some people (me) are honest. Those can be really bad traits at times--harmful to yourself and others.
2. If I called you a "noh sddjp;r nsdystf [oh/," what difference would it make what I was actually saying if only I know what I said? Making fun of someone isn't nice. But doing it in a way that no one on the planet can figure out? That IS nice. That's a way of getting out your own anger (recognizing it as your own anger!) without hurting another soul. You find a problem with this why?
3. People deal with grief differently. Kid A disappeared. Some folks cursed. Some got angry at others and took out their anger in a non-passive-aggressive way that hurt someone else. Some people told jokes to cheer others up because they feel so uncomfortable. I didn't know Sar. It was a terrible thing that she couldn't make it and a sad thing that others had to deal with her grief. But I and others weren't actually grieving, not having had much contact with her. Some of us actually welcomed the relief of your post, the challenge of occupying our minds with something else. (I think I'm missing something. Was your post actually in a Sar string? If so, that's the part that was wrong. If not, not.)
4. Nothing was wrong with Janelle's survey. It WAS voluntary, and it was innocent. Please, let's not dredge that mess up again.
5. Sometimes helping others helps us. Case in point: I woke up last week feeling totally miserable every day. But I thought two people on the board were in trouble, and I spent about 30 minutes each morning responding thoughtfully to their posts. I actually felt a great deal better focusing on someone else in need for a change. My problems somewhat resolved themselves.
I guess the only thing I'd pick on is the Hollywood Jerry moniker. I don't know if everyone knew Hollywood Jerry was you. (Did you sign your posts John X2?) If they did (if you did), where's the harm?
Stop beating yourself up. Your guilty conscience is what needs a paddlin'.
beardy : )>
poster:beardedlady
thread:21619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020422/msgs/22481.html