Posted by trouble on February 28, 2002, at 15:30:47
In reply to Re: well this is new (dissociating) (long) » m3, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2002, at 10:13:40
Yes, I think I experienced something similar during a period of time in therapy where we were dealing w/ my childhood. I saw the T 3x a week, and when I'd leave the office and go back out in the world I'd be gripped w/ terror. It happened in public, in restaurants and libraries, I'd crouch and cower and cry, and when people talked to me I'd tell them how small and scared I felt. It was very confusing and just off the charts. Besides dissociative, I think the words my therapist used were depersonalization and derealization.
Anyway, he was most proactive about these episodes, and gave me a list of things to do when they started and the first thing to do was: Call Him. He'd take it very seriously, immediately get down to business, and we'd talk for about 10 minutes and afterwards I'd still be non-functional but way less scared than I was before. If not for his care during these months I believe I'd have been hospitalized. He seemed determined to keep that from happening and today I'm grateful. He was another in a long line of PhD students I saw who acted like they were accountable for every word. You don't always find that dedication in the open marketplace.
I am concerned about your therapist's attitude, it seems dismissive. Does s/he have any idea what's going on here? I've been trying to remember my T's list of steps so I could give them to you but I believe the only step that mattered was that phone call. I needed someone calm and quick-witted who knew what was going on to explain and talk me through it, I mean it's not exactly a paper cut, it's a total shut down. I think you could be in danger of hurting yourself in that state, not necessarily on purpose but I used to walk in traffic, I was too preoccupied w/ my fear to pay attention.
IMO something most assuredly can be done to alleviate your terror and it's on your therapist to provide it. S/he should perceive these experiences as a possible symptom of something psychological, particularly unresolved trauma. Sending you to your pdoc may have been wise in the moment, and the meds did help you to sleep. But I'm w/ you, what the f&*k was that all about? It sounds like a matter for intensive therapy, and I hope to heaven s/he's up to it.
Stay in touch-trouble
poster:trouble
thread:18978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19022.html