Posted by yellowbird01 on April 7, 2014, at 18:59:31
In reply to Re: Ugh, so sorry » Willful, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2014, at 3:59:03
Dinah..
It has been literally years since I've posted here, but I do read from time to time, and remember the special relationship you had with your T. It makes me so, so sad for you that this has happened. It's unbelievable. Two years ago, my own T of 12 years terminated me very suddenly with absolutely no meaningful explanation except that "it wasnt me". The week prior, we'd been talking in depth about trust, and she'd said to me "yellowbird, I know it's hard for you to trust me, but I want you to know I'll be here with you, as long as it takes". BS. Whatever. I can so relate to the feelings of dissociation, shutting off the feelings, until they burst through occasionally. I absolutely went through that, and still do at times... although the intensity of it is much, much less, even at the worst moments. The lack of understanding is the absolute worst. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.As I've been reading your posts over the weeks, I have to wonder if something didnt happen where his licensing board got involved. Perhaps his license is temporarily suspended? Id think (although I'm not positive) that if this happened, he'd be barred from any direct communication with clients. Sometimes those suspensions are due to terrible misbehavior on a Ts part.. sometimes due to "lesser" things like lying about completing the required continued education each year, billing issues, a confidentiality issue, etc. I dont know. The T you spoke to for "additional information", who said it was "nothing like that" re him dying.. and the fact that the phone number he used for his practice is turned off.. it all makes me wonder. From all you've said about him over the years, I KNOW he cares about you, and I'm sure he knows this hurts you. How could he not? It seems whatever has happened must be somehow out of his control. I dont know. I may be totally off base, but I just wanted to share the idea in case you hadnt considered it. Most licensing boards in most states allow you to look up providers and they will often show whether they have been actions against their license. Often it takes months to show up, so even if this is the case, it may not show right now.. but it might be worth looking if you havent already.
Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I knew what else to say.
poster:yellowbird01
thread:1062006
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1063825.html