Posted by Dinah on April 17, 2010, at 9:10:46
In reply to Re: I think I need help in reframing » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on April 16, 2010, at 21:03:36
I'm inclined to think he was on medication or something yesterday. He also talked an awful lot about himself. But that would only explain the fact that he was honest and graceless in explaining his thoughts. And in general I should be glad he did, because he's been confusing me since it came up with his reluctance and with the fact that he never gives the same excuse twice for why he's reluctant.
Yesterday I mentioned this, and asked if this was the real reason. He said he wasn't sure. He didn't remember all the reasons he gave. But he imagined they were all partly true.
While in some ways I enjoy the fact that he is more honest with regards to what's going on in the room in the here and now, in other ways I see the value of the blanker slate approach. It's possible to fill in the blanks with the noblest ideals. The more he opens his mouth, the more I see him... Well, I'm not going to say as a real, flawed, human. I saw that long ago, even before he was anywhere near honest about his reaction. But I find more reason to be disappointed in him when I know the precise nature of the flaws.
I daresay we'll get past it. It'll just take yet another of those pesky readjustments of how I see him. It's just that I'm not sure I want to readjust my view of him to include shame for him.
poster:Dinah
thread:943608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/943678.html