Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2009, at 14:14:07
At least for this week, to seeing him at the other office. Without a reason really. He says we'll talk on Tuesday.
I'd have to see him on different days. And the days he's at the other office aren't spread out enough to go twice a week there.
Twice in July I saw him at the other office. Both times he was more relaxed, more focused, and he stayed awake. It made me more upset about the many times he isn't focused and has trouble staying awake. He said Friday it wasn't me. But he's already said it was me. He said that my voice was low and flat and I'd be a great voice for a hypnosis tape. He didn't say it in a mean way, but he did say it and he can't unsay it now.
In addition, he said something so stupid Friday that I fear he doesn't know me at all. He said that if I was upset at loss, I should get a new girlfriend. That when men are upset at losing a girlfriend, they get another girlfriend. Since he ought to know how hard it is for me to attach to anyone, that actually made me angry. And he repeated it. I know people say stupid things sometimes. I say stupid things sometimes. But coupled with the heavy lids and sleepiness, it's given me this horrible image of him in that office, and I'm scared to go back there.
Scared of what I don't know. If that's the person he is, I'd be better off seeing it.
He sounded annoyed with me.
I had called not long after our session, and my intent was to ask him to reschedule our appointments to times at the other office. I called him later when I first found out about my test results and new meds when I was really upset. I didn't tell him that time to call me back. But I called Saturday to remind him that I was asking to reschedule to Monday from Tuesday. He didn't call back until Saturday night, which was fine, his answer was no, and he didn't even ask about my health.
Sometimes I really feel like an idiot. To invest so much in this therapist/mommy. I wish I could find a new girlfriend. But I will never find another him. :(
poster:Dinah
thread:908674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/908674.html