Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 13:28:19
In reply to Re: Sorry, many questions, many good answers, posted by star008 on November 30, 2007, at 15:52:29
> I know what u are trying to say and it is a hard one to answer...lol.. ask me>>>>all split up<<<
> I think that people who aren't split remember the the same way that we do..there are parts of us that aren't split off..they remeber that way.. I remember climbing trees and how I always used to get scraped on the bark climbing down. I remember that I liked it, (not getting scraped, climbing.lol) It is kind of far away but it is not like trying to grasp the memories of the split off parts..*"there are parts of us that aren't spplit off" INTERESTING, cuz I have recently come to that conclusion myself. I recently found a part that I call "reality me", this part seems to be NOT dissociated. It FEELS GOOD to be this part. Everything seems so much SIMPLER, though when that part was here it seemed a little perplexed, and when I read what it wrote, it seemed VERY critical of itself, but maybe its cuz it was kinda perplexed at the time. BUT, it DOES have some memories! I think they are real. They are very basic, and not many, but I bet it could remember more, but what happens I think, is when that part is here and remembering, it makes other parts VERY nervous, even tho the memories are NOT bad, and for NO reason, I end up dissociating away from that part and its lost to me. "me", this me, I fear that "I" am a dissociated part :-( I think maybe the other one was real :-(
> Yes, I will get you to see the value in the wild kid yet,,I know why you hate her.. Hard to describe but in a way she carries all the shame, all the blame for everything that happened that you don't "remember".. Yeah, she feels really yucky and you hate her cause what she went through was really yucky and somehow you blame her*we try not to think of her...YES she is yucky. We , well not we, but there is a part that blames her somehow I think. Not really knowing exactly wassup, its hard to say why. Mostly I think we are just utterly horrified by what she feels, the odd time it has snuck thru the defenses.
> and she makes you feel bad.. Does that make sense at all?? I felt the same way.. It just fades with time and understanding..
*sigh, but it hasn't faded...it still haunts me :-(
It is there sometimes still..There is this nasty part of me who wants to hate and hurt everyone. I used to think back and all I could feel was yuck and I hated her cuz she made me feel yuck too.
*yes, I have a rage as well. Connected to a specific part of what limited pic we have, but it stops there, so I dunno.
I hope this can be sorted out.
Thanks for the reply star, it all helps.
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:797701
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/798495.html