Posted by Worry Girl on June 26, 2007, at 21:08:22
In reply to I want people to like me, posted by LLurpsieNoodle on June 26, 2007, at 18:40:46
I understand the expectations you sometimes have of others.
For the longest time I mistakenly thought and let others tell me, too, that I cared what people thought and had low self-esteem because I wanted EVERYONE to like me. To many I come across as a people pleaser.
It finally dawned on me, though, that often the real reason I over-accommodate is not so everyone will "like" me, it is because I don't want them to be cruel to me.
And of course, being nice to cruel people often just makes them worse. Certain people will never like me even if I stand on my head and blow hundred dollar bills out of my behind. And I've taken much stress out of my life by ignoring these toxic people. The nice ones are nice regardless of what I do or don't do. It's a shame I didn't wake up sooner.And I do enjoy being nice to those I truly like. What is wrong is when my niceness is motivated by fear of rejection or cruelty.
I do think your T was paying you a compliment.
poster:Worry Girl
thread:766002
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/766054.html