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trust **Trigger** » DAisym

Posted by muffled on June 26, 2007, at 18:57:31

In reply to Re: But I'm OK now... » Fallsfall, posted by DAisym on June 26, 2007, at 18:31:36

>other people's experience of learning to trust and to need. What helped? What didn't? I think stopping when it gets really hard is important, because it isn't just the feelings that stop us, usually it is our fear of their judgement, even if we would protest that we know it will be OK.

*fear of judgement. fear of rejection. Fear of seeing 'that' look on their faces.
My T. She knows stuff bout me. If she rejects me, then what does that mean? Does it mean that all the stuff she said is not true, is actually true? That I am leperous. Evil. Bad. Gross, etc. That in fact I should die? That all her acceptance was a lie? I dunno.
Scarey stuff.
My T says she does not change.
I faxed her the other day, I said to her that, you are lying, you DO change, you are human,so you must change. If I said something or did something you *could* change...
I think I must drive my T crazy. She reassures me alot. Man she must be tired of me.
I guess my fear is that she WILL change.
I dunno what I saying but my stomach is churning.
This interesting if freaky.
Muffled

 

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