Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on February 8, 2007, at 16:37:03
In reply to face to face » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by ElaineM on February 8, 2007, at 15:49:32
> THanks LL. Not as desperately low today.
oh good!
>
> >>>>>>Do you think you'd feel well enough to go to babble-fest in San Diego?
>
> I couldn't. Too physically difficult. Too far -- too financially difficult ;-)
>too bad :(
> Babble fest is the APA convention? How far ahead are they planned? If next one was somewhere a touch closer...
>
I dunno. have to ask the world wide web I spose> THough I don't know if I could ever meet any of you. The dumbest thing I'd be worried about (glaring proof of my psychological un-health) is that I'd be too ugly to show myself to you all. That you'd *see* me, and then never want to type to me anymore. And also that someone would look at me and think, Ya sure you were anorexic. Petty and stupid huh.
hmm. perhaps you should talk to a therapist about these issues. your self-loathing is definitely WAY WAY out of control. I'm sure you know that though. Part of feeling better about yourself is practicing positive self-affirmations in your head. things like-
I Enjoy my earlobes.
I'm an adult and I'm taking the responsibility for my own health, including asking for help when things get too complicated.
I'm going to go to the nearest babble party, even if I have to meet new people. even if I doubt myself. (I know that I doubted myself VERY much the first time I ever met a babbler. But we had a very nice time together, and I even ended up inviting SatinDoll to stay at my place a little while later. Of course I was scared out of my poor wits to meet Dr. Bob, but Clearskies was really sweet, and I felt like I could certainly chat plenty with her and SatinDoll, even if I felt weird about meeting Dr. Bob and whoever else showed up. I ended up meeting several new people, and found them all to be very fun, very cool people. We had lots in common, kind of like on the first day of school after summer vacation. excited to see old friends but wondering if you'll make the right impression... you know?)
> I'd love to have images to put to everyone's names though. Let me know if another random, roving mini Babble-meet is ever in the works though.I wanna go too! I think we should just buy an RV and random babblers can drive it all around the country and have tailgate babble parties. what do you think?
>
> Oh well. I still think you're a good friend anyways - even if I never meet you.likewise
>
> (((((LL)))))) You take care too.
> blove, ELElaine, I've met some very ugly people in my life. I always find something beautiful about them, if they are indeed beautiful on the inside it cannot help but show itself after a few minutes of conversation. You have shown yourself to have a lot of inner beauty and funny smarts too. So, I don't care how far you deviate from whatever sick beauty ideal the tabloids are promoting these days- you are strikingly beautiful and your outsides cannot change that ONE bit.
I've got some crushingly bad self-esteem somedays too. Actually for my first 21 years on this Earth. But I've been working really really hard on it. Most of it comes from being far away from my family. From being with a guy who is confident in his ability to be a better person, and confident in his love for me, when my love for myself wanes. It really helps to have someone who loves me unconditionally. Too bad I had to wait 21 years. :(
Oh. I guess it's not unconditional. The love wanes somewhat when retail-therapy lurpsie decides to amass some excess charges and forgets to pay her bills. oopsie.
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:729230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/731172.html