Posted by Daisym on November 28, 2006, at 0:01:44
In reply to P.S. Daisy, posted by antigua on November 27, 2006, at 7:40:16
I'm rolling this around in my head -- My mother carried on like a trooper, of course. Of course she did. And we were all to carry on as well. I remember two things very well - I was sick when he left and I didn't get to say good-bye. He was just sort of gone. And I didn't see him again for almost 5 years.
And I remember feeling as split after he left as I did when he was there. I missed him so much and yet I was so relieved. I sort of didn't know what to do with myself.
But I think there is a correlation here. Back then, I couldn't begin to think about a future at all until the abuse stopped. I was simply dealing with it all. And the same has been true for my marriage. So now that I have all this time to myself, I can actually grieve for all the past hurts and sad events. And I can grieve for the dreams that never came true. And I can be angry for lots of things.
What I can't shake is this feeling that I'm flawed and deserve to be unhappy. I felt like this the summer my dad left. I still feel like this.
poster:Daisym
thread:706781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/708090.html