Posted by Racer on November 11, 2006, at 18:26:49
In reply to called pdoc T on this morning...i must be..., posted by bent on November 11, 2006, at 9:37:26
I'm so sorry for your loss. That is the hardest thing to do, bar none, in this world. That you're able to reach out shows strength and good judgement -- the very farthest thing from being pathetic I can think of. Please don't be hard on yourself -- your reaction is normal, and all it shows is that you're capable of loving.
I'm going through a somewhat similar process right now, with my monster cat. He's old, he's sick, and now he's in pain -- but he's also very bright, alert, involved, and just doesn't seem ready. I've told the vet I'll trust her to tell me when it's time, and so far she's telling me he's not ready to go. But it's very hard to know what's best: am I just being selfish? Or would it be wrong to deprive him of the short time he has left? Fortunately, his vet likes him and I trust her absolutely in this matter.
But it's so hard. Yesterday, my husband and I were pretty sure we wouldn't be bringing him home with us from the vet's. I cried myself sick over the course of the day, and was overwhelmed by the awesome power involved in that decision. I'm profoundly grateful that I didn't have to make that decision yesterday, and equally sorry you had to.
What you did was very, very brave, though. And reaching out now is a sign of health and strength. I, like Dinah, wish there was something more direct I could do to help you though this. And like Poet, I've talked at length with my T about my beloved monster. In fact, this past week, that decision formed the basis of my entire session. Am I nuts? Yes, of course I am -- but that has nothing to do with my relationship with my monstercat.
I hope you can find comfort, and will allow yourself to grieve. I don't want to sound as though I don't want you to feel better soon -- I do, but I also want you to know that it's OK to feel as bad as you do for as long as you do. Peace.
poster:Racer
thread:702526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/702672.html