Posted by milly on March 14, 2006, at 10:35:26
Hi
I'm all over the place so excuse if none of this makes senseI was waiting for my T to come and get me this morning and I had thought I might say how good I was, cr*p idea that was!
A guy from the day centre unit came and sat beside me (no problem normally at the moment) but then he he began to talk about 'old times' and then he knew my name and insisted we'd been inpatients together. Well as far as I know I haven't been an inpatient but throughout my therapy stuff has come back to me (horrid stuff)and now I don't know what is real and can be trusted. I just thought the blanks were normal or bad memory.
I couldn't move to get myself to a safe place just like I couldn't during the rape etc . When T arrived I just freaked and got really angry that he hadn't collected me early.
I really needed him to hold me and I know he was trying to but all i wanted to do was curl up in his lap IRL
Plus I'm as mad as hell that I only have 3 sessions left
He thinks i get into situations that i can't get out of because I always feel that the other persons feelings are more important than mine,
I couldn't move away today for fear of causing him to feel rejected, I got myself into a situation that culminated in the rape because i didn't want to appear rude. I'm such a stupid, stupid piece of worthless sh*t.milly
poster:milly
thread:620167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/620167.html