Posted by All Done on February 24, 2006, at 11:28:13
Perhaps this belongs on the Parenting board, but I think after reading you will understand why I put it here.
The last few months have been so difficult with my son. He will be four in June and he’s experiencing a lot of separation anxiety when I drop him off at preschool in the mornings. I know children generally go through another phase of this when they’re around three, so I wasn’t necessarily surprised when it started. But it’s become unbearable for me and I wonder if it’s been going on too long. At first, I consoled myself by saying it was a sign of a healthy attachment, but now, I’m noticing other things. For a few weeks he’s been acting out. He’s been talking back to me and my husband (his dad), his teacher has been reporting behavioral issues everyday, and he seems to be showing some signs of anxiety – nervous habits and expressing fears he’s never had before. We’ve really struggled to deal with all of this because prior to the start of it, he was such an easy child to deal with. This is uncharted territory for us. So, I’m trying everything I can.
Last week, I asked him what would help him to behave and he said, "if you were with me all day." That got me thinking more about his (okay, okay...and maybe my) attachment issues and I know what I wish for and would like from my T, so I started calling my son at preschool everyday. I first asked him if it would make him sad because it would just remind him that I’m not physically there with him. He said no and seemed excited about the prospect of getting a call from his Mommy each day. I have to say...it seems to be working wonders. I have my sweet, well-behaved son back. He still has a rough time when I drop him off in the morning, but he’s completely changed his behavior throughout the day.
So, why did I put this here? I think you guys (better than anyone) know. My attachment to my T has become even stronger than ever. I recently told him that I love him. My sessions have been difficult but pretty amazing. The other day, we talked about me wanting to crawl into his lap so he could just hold me. Sigh. I feel three years old and I want him to call me everyday just to touch base, but instead because of scheduling issues, I don’t get to see him until a week from tomorrow. It’s so hard.
I feel like I’m growing up with my son. Has anyone else experienced this? It's an amazing thing to watch him grow.
It’s a terrifying thing to watch myself grow.
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:612789
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612789.html