Posted by alexandra_k on September 21, 2005, at 19:20:27
In reply to Re: ((((((((((Kerria)))))))) » cricket, posted by kerria on September 20, 2005, at 10:05:35
(((((Kerria)))))
> When you're really divided inside about something, doesn't it upset things internally if someone takes your parts side against you or your side against your parts? It strengthens the division and the self critizism inside and makes me feel like hurting myself.
Yeah. Thats hard. Really hard. And to feel like someone is only hearing what THEY think and not what YOU think. Or only hearing what YOU think and not what THEY think. So the other person doesn't really understand the full picture of what is going on because they are only hearing part of the story...
And you have to wonder... Whether they would still say what they are saying if they understood all sides to the issue...
Maybe part of the trouble comes...
With perceiving someone to be 'taking sides'.
If they seem to be 'taking sides'
Then you need to give them some of the other side.
So they can better understand.> That's the trouble - there's so much self criticism inside.
Yeah. And thats something to work on right there...
> All my life i always wondered why i felt that way when someone gave constructive critisizm.
Maybe because most of the criticism you have received in the past has been destructive. So now you are ready tuned to interpret constructive criticism as destructive criticisms.
> There's so much conflict inside when i talk about my T that i shouldn't even do it- i should know better.
But other people can gain a fair bit of understanding about the situation... Probably more than you realise...
> it make me hate myself more.
And thats something to work on right there...
> My T is so sad that i'm not able to take steps to communicate. i'm still trying.Yeah. I'm sure he says he is sad.
But what is he DOING to encourage communication?
He seems to be saying one thing...
And doing another...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:556369
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/557827.html