Posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 19:35:11
In reply to Re: T calling between sessions...what do you think? » Speaker, posted by mair on January 12, 2005, at 16:48:14
>>>>Maybe I'm just cynical, but it seems to me if he checks in with you, he's determining when the contact is and not the other way around. I could maybe see it as a good gesture if you were coming off a rough session, but maybe not as a usual occurrence.
There are two ways to look at this. Part of the value of predetermined check-ins is that they allow the client to plan to be available to take the call. And making the agreement face-to-face saves the client from the later issue of "do I feel bad enough NOW" to "need" to call...
My therapist tried an "experiment" with me, similar to mair's proposed homework. He wanted me to call him if I felt I needed him, even if I didn't know why I needed him or what I wanted from him. To have the thought float into my head that I'd like to touch base with him was enough to warrant a call, during our "experiment." This was his way of helping me learn to reach out for support. It has worked, (she grins wryly.)
But I think Mair also has a point about letting the client call first. We do this on Friday. We usually talk about a Friday check in (if I need it) and compare schedules. But we leave it loose and if I need him, I call and say something like, I'll be here or here, or on the cell phone. This translates into "call me." The value of this check in is that it prevents me from getting really closed up over the weekend because by Monday I'm a stone wall again.
Amazing how much agony goes into such a simply thing as calling, isn't it?
poster:daisym
thread:441237
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/441324.html