Posted by Pfinstegg on January 7, 2004, at 20:21:59
In reply to Re: Neurontin, Take me away! » antigua, posted by Karen_kay on January 6, 2004, at 18:55:05
This is such a tough issue. I am in the same boat as the other people here who are trying to deal with abuse issues in therapy- all kinds, really- physical, sexual and maternal neglect. I really know what you are saying: we all seem to have a high level of emotional distress, but it is not directly connected to the actual abuse incidents. I also tend to recount these (to the extent that i know them) in an emotionless manner. I wonder, myself, where is the fear, anger and outrage which should be associated with these terrible things?
One approach which my analyst takes is to consider that the little girl who underwent these things is much more dissociated from the grown-up me than I ever realized. At the moment, we are working to establishing basic safety on the little girl's part. This involves a lot of fantasy, wishes and hopes which he has encouraged the little girl inside me to express. They are such simple little things; for example, today I fantasied that the little girl said to him (the analyst) that she did not want him to observe her when she changed into her shorts. He replied, "of course not. I want her to know I would never do anything to hurt her." I think the plan is to utilize fantasies like this to have "her" feel safe enough to eventually re-experience things more fully without becoming overwhelmed- or emotionally blank.
I think that I like this approach, as it may offer a way to get to the traumas in such a way that they aren't sealed off emotionally any more. Once I can get more in touch with them, I hope I'll be able to start really healing from them. Instead of talking about my actual parents, almost every session involves talking about what I am feeling, moment to moment, about my therapist- ALL the feelings are focussed on him. I notice that he helps me identify the feelings, but never says, "this is like what you felt towards your father". He just accepts them. I think he is functioning as a stand-in for the parents, but one who can offer a much more positive , safe relationship.
Does this seem anything like what the rest of you are experiencing in therapy?
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:294726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/297843.html