Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2003, at 0:43:59
In reply to Received and read book Dinah, posted by judy1 on August 13, 2003, at 16:55:41
I guess I liked her well balanced discussion of transference from the client side. It gave me a lot to think about.
But the part I really really liked was her discussion about whether or not you were substituting therapy for other relationships in your life. Or diluting other relationships by saving the deepest intimacy for therapy.
I thought that was possible enough that I seriously thought about the topic. And I discussed it with both my therapist and my husband. Eventually I decided it wasn't really happening in my case. What I discussed in therapy were mainly things that were therapy topics only. I keep plenty of intimacy in my marriage by talking about other things. But my husband isn't the sort of person that could handle the mental health stuff. And he wouldn't be able to help me with coping techniques. And my therapy isn't an ersatz friendship either. I have some good friends (ok, online ones, but that doesn't make them less real). And my intimacy level with them is high, too.
But I like books that make me examine things like that. I liked "In Session" for the same reason. It made me think hard about what I wanted from my therapist and from therapy. It made me assess the nature of the transference. And sorting out the feelings made them so much less scary.
When you've gone to therapy for eight years, I think it's important to re-assess every now and again.
Oh, and I also used the book (along with discussions with my husband) to jump start me into a discussion of therapy goals with my therapist. I found out that the three of us, my therapist, my husband, and me, all have pretty different goals. :) But it is, nevertheless, good to know that. It's going to be important to hash out a compromise or shared goals for at least my therapist and I to have.
I looked at that chapter about your therapist leaving you first, of course. :) And I was glad that at least it recognized the truly serious harm it can do, especially to those of us with abandonment issues. (And don't most of us have abandonment issues?)
Did it stimulate any internal discussions for you?
poster:Dinah
thread:250597
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/250703.html