Posted by fallsfall on May 8, 2003, at 13:15:34
In reply to Re: Between Forever Therapy Sessions, posted by Dinah on May 6, 2003, at 9:23:30
Things went a little better in therapy this week. For the last week, I've been feeling a little better, more energy, getting a little bit done.
My therapist and I talked about a dream that I had, which had a theme in it of my guessing what something was, her correcting my interpretation, but I don't understand why what she is saying is different. Basically, bad communication. As we went on to the next topic (dependency) she decided that she should verify her understanding of what I was depending on her for. Lo and behold, what she believed (self-concept) was not what I need her for (self-esteem, self evaluation). It was encouraging that she now understands what the issue is.
We talked about the root cause of my dependency - I need her to evaluate (good vs. bad) my self, to determine if I am a worthwhile person. She asked how other people do it. I have no idea. I believe that I have always had someone to tell me if I was OK or not. How do all of you know?
I had to tell her some pretty deep things, and while I was aware that it was risky, I told her everything. That is a major improvement. And it seemed OK.
After I left, she won another point. She was trying to tell me that people aren't Good or Bad - that it is a continuum, but I didn't buy it at the time. After I left, though, I could see the continuum, but there is a point where it goes from gradations of good to gradations of bad (like a D- is passing, but an F is failing). So I see her continuum, but I also see my black and white. Small progress, but none the less progress.
I wasn't nearly as scared to be there or to talk. I hope that this can continue.
poster:fallsfall
thread:220332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/225139.html