Posted by johnny baklava on September 1, 2009, at 15:11:40
In reply to Re: i am thinking of taking my life » swan600, posted by SLS on August 26, 2009, at 9:05:01
> > i am new ,i read a post ,,it said they were thinking of taking my life,,i have lived with that all my life,,it is always there ,,even when i do not feel like it ,,it is there ,,i am now 60 ,but i need to live ..an so do you..i live with chonic pain an bi polar disorder..i am married an raising my 7 year old grandson .i cannot go on much longer .i am getting weaker .they started me on mf cotin .savella .etc .i seem better .not good better .i hope i am able to get a post to you scott .
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> I think it escapes many psychiatrists that there is a neurobiology to suicidality. In other words, there are circuits in the brain that cause one to feel suicidal and have intrusive suicidal thoughts in the absence of rational thought. These thoughts and feelings should dissipate once the depression is treated properly. Often, this kind of suicidality is accompanied by either anxiety or anger. Even if the depression is inadequately treated, one can ameliorate suicidality by treating the anxiety or developing strategies to work with the anger.
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> What treatments have you tried in the past?
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> - ScottAt the risk of sounding flip (and I also routinely experience a low-grade suicidal urge), what helps me cope is just thinking that, as someone in my 40s, I only have to get through another 40 years or so, then I'll never have to worry about depression again, and I would have lived as full a life as I could. Suicide is a selfish act (obviously) that affects way more people than you would realize. I relate to that constant, smothering, sickening sliver of wanting to end it allit can actually be comforting. I equate it with like an eating disorder, where someone is desperately looking for control in their life, and so they control the only thing they feel they can: what they put in their mouth. The same with suicide. You feel so out of control: your emotions, your moods, your circumstances, that of course suicide would pop up as it is something you can actually control, whether to kill yourself or not. But it is still incredibly stupid (though it never feels like it when you are in it). Think of your life as a blip in human history. Even if you spent your life listening to great music, watching great movies, eating great food, having sex from time to time, that is all still better than never having had the chance to experience these things at all. Anyway, at least with bipolar, you know that the rollercoaster will at least go up in the near future, and hopefully we can hold on to that high before it becomes uncomfortably manic. And hopefully modern science can isolate what makes us want to do something that ridiculous and give us a pill or something. In the meantime, there's always the beach and the laughter of a child.
poster:johnny baklava
thread:914030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/neuro/20090701/msgs/915280.html