Posted by maree on June 19, 2008, at 23:53:27
I have suffered from anhedonia since I had a stroke 12 years ago. I was convinced that my lack of pleasure in anything at all, was caused because I am just not physically capable of doing anything that once used to give me pleasure, nor of doing it well enough, or vigorously enough to get an endorphin rush. I had planned my life around, and chose, activities that would provide an endorphin rush. I have not had an endorphin response for 12 years, not even from passive activities, like community singing.
Every stupid consultant has tried to tell me that the reason I do not gain pleasure from anything is due to my poor attitude towards myself, and the fact that I am unwilling to accept that my life has "changed" (and therefore, presumably, I must be prepared to find joy in less satisfying activities). I cannot even begin to imagine finding great pleasure in playing cards or bingo, or chatting about somebody else's grandchildren over a cup of tea, but I feel the problem is more that I CANNOT get an endorphin rush due to the damage the stroke has caused.
Does anyone else have this problem and have you found a way to resolve it? Even strong alcohol does not give me a lift, I get all the negative effects from being drunk, but none of the good feelings that make it worthwhile.
I just so want to feel happy, and to be able to love again.
poster:maree
thread:835586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/neuro/20080418/msgs/835586.html