Posted by mantus on August 3, 2011, at 22:54:59
In reply to Re: Went off nardil 1 week ago. HR/BP problems persist, posted by Phillipa on August 3, 2011, at 20:15:47
I called the Cleveland Clinic today and did get the chance to set up an appointment. Unfortunately it is not until August 30th, which we all know during our worst times that a few weeks can seem like so much more. I've been told that often times it might be possible to get an earlier appointment time if you stress the severity of your situation, but I was struggling quite a bit this morning from the Ativan withdrawals, which makes even making an appointment difficult. They did say I could call and ask for cancellations, which I will try to do and hope to get lucky. In the mean time, I am going to continue to try to see the other doctor in my area (guess what, no response again today)in case he can get me in earlier. I just want to talk to someone familiar with my current symptoms and I haven't for months.
I can't at all explain why the withdrawal from Ativan hasn't caused increased anxiety, and it seems to me that if I am putting myself through hell isn't it likely that it should've already happened? There is something empowering going on inside of me right now, even as my head spins, my whole body hurts, and at times shake badly. Each day is like this fight to a different life that I see for the first time in years. Don't get me wrong, between the tears and anger it still sucks, but there is something very good happening right now and I only pray I can continue this mindset through the entire withdrawal. I seriously have this plan to get in my car, take my guitar, a one person tent, and maybe a change or two of clothes and just drive where the wind takes me around the country the day I'm completely free from Ativan. But, then in my thoughts I'm always brought back to reality that my heart is still messed up, and again I'm in the same cycle of always feeling like God, my body, doctors, medicine or something is always wanting to stop me from finally breaking free. Honestly, I think I am also pushing this withdrawal thing so hard to keep me focused on something else, whether it be pain or positive thoughts of being free from psyychotropic meds, instead of the real fact that I'm terrified that somehow my physical health has been drastically compromised.
I even made myself go to a local sporting goods store to look for 1 man tents while my head was in lala land, my whole body was in pain from Ativan withdrawals, and my hr was racing for absolutely no reason. ha But I guess that's just life these days.
poster:mantus
thread:991911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110728/msgs/992791.html