Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 1:12:37
In reply to Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
It's so difficult to see other people who take medication fine with their doctor and my situation is hell.
>
> You know I see all these people online taking medications and enjoying them.Matt, your honesty is beautiful and touching.
And you know im very sure there are people who are going to be skeptical of my posts thinking im only wanting stimulants but the truth is I just need something to feel better than this rotten
miserable state I live in.I think people here believe you. Who here would hold the past against you?
I hate my life with a passion. I hate alcohol. I smoke. There really isnt much to say more. I just cry. I cry inside. I eat too much because the comfort of food soothes me, but I am a little overwieght now and I can never take a presciption
stimulant again in my life because of my mother. I despise everything I've done. I wasted everything I had and ended up in this dirt and I shouldnt really complain but that's what I think about all the time is strattera and something to help with focus at work. She refuses everything I
tell her and only uses evidence from these tests I took witch say I have a low processing speed and Schioid personality disorder. She doesnt understand how to treat me with this disorder and then just does nothing. I really am going to have to BEG my mom to get another doctor
because nothing is going to happen with this situation only to be more miserable. That's what she is. She's in buisness to keep me miserble. That's all. When I go in I call her the misery doctor.
>Some doctors are very cold. I'm sorry you don't have your choice right now.
> Listen I'm not here to make your life more miserable reading all my hardaches of life. I just absolutely want
to not be here, I pray alot that I will not be sent to hell. I want to have relief. Not suicidal relief but just someting to help me feel better.I don't mind reading along. I feel for you and I'm glad to be reading this right before bed. I will pray for you in my agnostic way.
>
> What should ... i mean I take over the
counter stimulants like caffine and Zantrex 3 but they don't come close to stimualnts that are amphetmaines. I am an amphetamine addict but the reason was I was irresponsible with them and that was why they where taken away.
>
> Please write to me. Tell me someting thats good. I need to be grateful for the things that I do have but I keep thinking of things I don't have, perferably
stimualnts. Don't send anything to my babblemail because I have to change it.
> I love you who ever you are reading
this. I mean that.
>
> Logging out...
>
> MattMatt, you're good. You are beautiful. You can still love and you are still holding on. Though you are suffering so, You sound more lucid. Do you journal write for yourself? Something between yourself and beauty. Get yourself well enough to live more freely. Even a
residential housrPeople here care for you. Anyone who would judge You does so out of their own ignorance.
fb
* and whoever gazes at the stars will never again be quite alone...
c-ptsd & attendant health concerns
poster:floatingbridge
thread:986605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110529/msgs/986616.html