Posted by gardenergirl on October 23, 2010, at 21:01:10
In reply to Re: I am sad and appalled » gardenergirl, posted by europerep on October 23, 2010, at 16:16:16
> I am sorry to say that, but for me, this is a so typically American statement, that touts certain values and conceptions, but where I just do not see any link to a concrete situation and how to deal with it.
I'm not sure I see exactly what's so "typically American" about my post, nor why that matters, but no worries. I chose not to identify specifically posts that led me to say what I did, because I did not want to accuse anyone of bullying or being unkind or otherwise uncivil by the site's standards. But to be as concrete as I can without doing so, when I put myself in Lou's shoes and read recent posts about him, I felt sad and appalled. If I were Lou, I'd certainly feel put down when reading some of these posts.
I struggle with chronic depression, social anxiety, and ADHD. There are many times when my behavior has been labelled by others as "lazy", "flaky", "self-centered", "moody", and so on. While I can certainly understand how my behaviors might appear this way to others, what bothers me is that there seems to be an assumption that I am *willfully* behaving that way, when in reality, I'm struggling just to function at all. Or it's assumed that I can simply choose to act another, more acceptable way upon command. While I do not claim that I am a slave to my disorders' effects, I also do not *willfully* suffer from them.
My point is this: without being inside Lou or anyone else's head, we can't know why they do the things they do, think the things they think, feel the things they feel. And since this is a mental health site, it's not at all a stretch to infer that folks posting here are more likely to be facing some sort of mental disorder than the general population.
> but I have the impression that it's preferred to not openly, and perhaps emotionally, discuss a certain subject, but rather try to be all friends in this "haven".
That not at all the prevailing wisdom. We all are welcome to disagree and to express disagreement as long as we do so without making statements that could lead others to feel accused or put down. The world may not "work that way", but Dr. Bob states that he expects this site to work that way. We are given the choice to abide or not, and we are made aware of the potential consequences of our choices.
May I suggest that one way to express your disagreement and to perhaps counter any potential "damage: you perceive may arise from other posts, you simply post your own perspective, knowledge, or experience about whatever the topic is. If someone posts that they believe a certain medication is dangerous, and your experience is different, say so. It's up to each of us to weigh all the information we are given and to decide for ourselves what we believe.
Here's an example. I see on the current boards and recall from past experience here that there have been numerous threads where Lou has posted in his usual way, and the discussion seems to go on "around him." The thread does not come to a screeching halt. Some folks acknowledge his post or respond in some way. Some folks don't. See, I'm posting an alternative experience. Your experience is valid for you. Mine is for me. Others may agree with me or with you, with both of us, or have a different experience altogether.
I think that's what makes these forums so valuable--the diversity of experiences, personalities, issues, etc. Take what works for you that you need and leave the rest.gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:966608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101020/msgs/966749.html