Posted by AdamCanada2 on August 8, 2009, at 6:27:17
-Please if you have the time read my whole post or just the summary that I put at the very bottom. I have been on over 30 meds and this has been the most promising one in a long time but I am fearful-
Hello. I am on Selegiline tablets 5mg a day for about 10 days at Noon. For severe treatment resistant depression and strong social anxiety.
I also take low dose clonazepam to help with anxiety/mood, and low dose ritalin.
When I started it I felt very minor improvement during the first 4 days. I normally have huge burning headaches when very depressed and on Selegiline they would diminish but I would get them a bit fierce during night time. Also during those 4 days I felt a bit weird. As if I was not 100% awake. Not tired mind you, not at all, just.. weird.
Day 5... I began to really feel a significant effect. More drive, motivation, sex drive increased, social anxiety falling off a cliff! As well as better ability to think, more energy, and for the first time since last year I have felt the return of things I used to enjoy doing. Photography for one. All the fears of ''not good enough'' diminished. And my anxiety over meeting women largely diminished. Amazing huh?
Day 6 and 7 continued to improve and I even made plans to meet up with this incredibly sweet girl later this month. For ''dating''. Last time I did that was ages ago.
Day 8-10. Well Day 8 I started to get insomnia. 4 hours of sleep. But good enough for this day as I visited my friend. She was very surprised as to the improvement within me. I was so lively! Day 9 it was harder to sleep. 3 hours I got. I was told I was cranky. And I knew I did not feel as good as Day 8. Day 10... I was unable to get ANY sleep at all. And I felt sick, nausiated, my appearance horrendous, baggy eyes, red eyes, and mood was dreadful. I felt like a walking zombie. I was no fun at all. I also felt idiotic, motivation lost, energy lost. Perhaps all from the severe sleep exhaustion.
But when I made it home I managed to finally get 8 hours of sleep. With a few wakings and having to fall asleep again. Strange feeling in my dreams too. ''Depressed'' in my dreams. When I finally got up I still felt very weird, very low mood, and still dreadful but not to the point where I felt like wanting a gun to the head. But... not far from it. My motivation and all the positive things I mentioned from the day 5-7 period were diminished greatly. I even felt that ugh... how on earth can I still meet that girl. I will only dissapoint her. I felt like not doing much of anything... tv no, internet... whatever, videogames no, photography no.
Now on day 10 or so after getting about 8 hours sleep last night there has been some improvement. I was even able to talk on the phone with that sweet girl again. And even felt even if I do not feel as I did during those good days that I can still be at some ease while I meet her since she was so understanding. But... I want to know are such ups and downs usual on Selegiline/Emsam? Does the insomnia get better? Is it usual for persistent lower mood for days after a period of extreme exhaustion? Will things likely just get better from here as my body gets used to Selegiline? Is the ritalin perhaps effecting the anti depressant negatively?
Any help would be appreciated and feel free to share your own experiences...
I felt for those few days... as if my life was almost returning back to normal after 8 long years of occassionally suicidal depression. I hope so much that I can feel what Selegiline did during that time again.
---Summary--- Treatment resistant Depression plus strong social anxiety. Most promising med in ages. Suffering for over 8 years. 5mg. First 4 days almost no improvement, minor. Day 5-7 I began to feel significant effect, return of interests that I have not felt in so long. Actually was happy to be alive! Day 8-10 severe insomnia and lead to such dreadful feeling with so much pain and headache. Even after 8 hour sleep that I finally managed to get I still felt Awful! Now sleeping is bit better and mood little better but no where near how I felt during 5-7 day period. What is likely to happen? Is this common for some? Any advice please.----
poster:AdamCanada2
thread:910884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090801/msgs/910884.html