Posted by Girlnterrupted78 on May 27, 2009, at 1:24:20
I always call it depression, or anxiety, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it's something else?
It's hard to describe, but it's like being perpetually upset. Like, right after you have a fight or a confrontation with someone important, you have all that adrenaline and you feel like you're going to pass out either out of humiliation or just feeling like absolute crap.. imagine feeling a less severe version of that, always, forever, and whenever you're around people.
At some point I thought it was social anxiety, but sometimes I realize I'm not anxious. Yet I feel emotional stiffness. I can't smile. I can't feel happy or enjoy a party. I have to force a smile. The hardest part is when people come excited and very cheery to tell me about something. I always have to force or feign excitement. It's like my emotional system is just incapable of ever feeling any sort of social enjoyment or pleasure.
I might feel ok when I'm home, but around people I'm always stiff. And as a result of that, I constantly worry that because I have no emotional energy, I'm giving the wrong impression--one of either disliking the person, being bored, or being fake.
So what is this? Could someone tell me if this has a diagnosis of some sort?
Thanks.
poster:Girlnterrupted78
thread:897878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090524/msgs/897878.html