Posted by AdamCanada2 on May 7, 2009, at 1:08:16
Sometimes I feel like I am reaching the end of my rope. Today has been a day I have more seriously considered possible suicide than perhaps ever before. It's been 8 years since I been poisoned by accutane (doctor improperly gave me a dose 4 times greater than my weight would recommend) and I am stagnant.
Huge depression (the kind where I lack emotions, motivation, drive, enjoyment) and huge social anxiety. Oh before I forget my permanently damaged memory from ECT (they did it improperly) that curses me every waking day. And frequent insomnia issues any time when I feel a bit better than ''horrible''. Also my depression involves burning head pains, as if my skull is on fire any time when I am feeling worse. If anyone can give me an idea how to fix that issue or what on earth is actually truly wrong with me then please THROW ANY LONG SHOT idea towards me.
I tried Paxil, Parnate, Ativan, Clonazepam, Diazepam, Xanax, Stablon, Ritalin (loses effect), Dexedrine (same), and certain others that supposedly help for SA + Major Dep but the relief they provide is too often too minor.
Ritalin and Dex where wonderful in the beginning but these days those do too little. I became too tolerant. Parnate was too inconsistent. At times it seemed like a miracle and other occasions it was Ugh.
Any suggestions (numerous if you can, I tried over 25 meds) please because I am sick and tired of my pathetic life and sick and tired of constantly asking for help.
Please put up with me, and please help.
poster:AdamCanada2
thread:894612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090505/msgs/894612.html