Posted by crittercuddler on December 13, 2008, at 7:59:23
In reply to SSRI insomnia, restlessness, poor concentration, posted by crittercuddler on December 13, 2008, at 6:39:29
Do I need to explain how my OCD manifests itself?
It is very obsessional in nature. The only outward signs you might see would be my over-vigilance, perfectionism at projects, and endless researching on the computer. Most all of my problem goes on in my head where no one can see it. My OCD therapist taught me that I have mental compulsions, which have names, but that I won't go into. Those that have the know what they are....
Some of my biggest obsessions include revolve around the fear of losing my mental abilities, like my creativity, memory, and intelligence. I can't do anything without constantly assessing my mental functions. I therefore do a lot of mental checking which is a compulsion you can't see. It steals all the joy from the precious present moment.
I have severe obsessions about failing or accidentally causing harm to someone, of course related to me being somehow inferior intellectually.
I often find that my mind gets stuck thinking over mundane things... like an insignificant conversation I had with someone or some random thing that happened during the course of a day. I get stuck in these awful thought loops that I can't escape. Even when I feel like I have come to a conclusion my brain just short circuits or something and I start thinking about it all over again. And of course when I am confronted with a problem that really demands my attention or that is worth thinking about I REALLY obsess.
My OCD has changed a lot in the 14 years I have had it. When I first developed it I had extreme germ phobias and ego alien thoughts.
Well, that is just a wee bit about my OCD to give you an idea of what it is like. I just wanted to clarify that I don't have counting compulsions or rituals or anything like that.
poster:crittercuddler
thread:868434
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081204/msgs/868441.html