Posted by Racer on June 11, 2008, at 21:23:31
In reply to Re: Any advice on meds? (long), posted by ryno on June 11, 2008, at 14:12:59
That partial hospital program may not be the right one for you. It might actually be worth looking into what you've got closer to home -- even if it means letting some of your coworkers know that you're having trouble.
But, I do understand not wanting them to know.
The "Fake it 'til you make it" routine gets old fast. I have never found it anything except damaging -- "oh, great -- now I've got depression, AND I can feel guilty and ashamed for not doing the things that depression keeps me from doing..." Just what I need -- yet another club to beat myself with. It might be worth speaking up about it -- letting someone know that you're not getting anything particularly helpful from the program, and asking if there are other options, including maybe twice a week therapy, or maybe a week at a residential treatment facility. (I don't know what other options there might be -- I'm grasping, but at least they might help you with ideas.) (Oh, and residential treatment isn't the same as hospital -- there's actual treatment involved, not just warehousing for safety.)
From what you've written, I'd actually peg your initial reaction to Lexapro as something akin to placebo effect, with the subsequent crash being related to the same effect. Sometimes people have an initial response that's entirely based on the relief of having DONE SOMETHING, which gets triggered by some of the anxiolytic effects of the medications. (Anxiolytic, or sedating, or whatever -- there's often an initial tranquilizing effect to any SRI for me, and for some others I know. Small n, but worth noting.) You feel a bit calmer, get that hope going, start to feel as though you'll get better -- and then it doesn't hold up to a stressor, and you crash. That could be what you experienced.
I'm very sorry you're going through this. It sounds pretty awful.
Good luck.
poster:Racer
thread:834046
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080606/msgs/834243.html