Posted by oldschool305 on December 14, 2007, at 7:54:20
For the past couple of weeks, I have been having severe homicidal thoughts!! Lots of things going wrong in my life right now which ofcourse are causing the anger, but the nightmares and constant thoughts of hurting someone won't go away.
Quick rundown of my problem(s):
Diagnosed with panic/anxetiy disorder in 2001. Pretty sure that I am also bipolar but just never diagnosed. One day I feel okay, the next day I feel like dying and can't get out of bed (lose all my jobs because off this). Literally, I have mood swings from hell, I never know how tomorrow is going to be, if I will be able to get out of bed and function, or sleep all day.
I've been taking less than 5mg of Lexapro at night for years. If I take more than 5mg, I sleep all day long.
I am thinking of switching the 5mg of Lexapro to the morning time, and taking 50mg or less of Trazodone at night for sleep. Does anyone think this will help? I took Serzone for years (which worked great but because of the black box label, or whatever it's called, the doc took me off of it; something about it causing liver failure). I read that trazodone is pretty similiar to serzone so i'm wondering if i should give it a try.
I think I need to get off the Lexapro, it isn't helping much. I've tried almost every other SSRI and the side effects were HORRENDOUS. I am very med sensitive. I have no insurance, my mother has tons of trazodone. I'm wondering if taking the Lexapro in the am vs. the pm - if that might work a little better on my mood, and able to function at work? I start a new job in a couple of weeks, a real career, a real deal job and I don't want to lose this one.
I've had so many great jobs, but because of my non-stop mood swings, I quit them all. Literally, I feel great one day and am on top of the world, promotions, brand new car, new apartment, and then BOOM... the plane crashes. I have a breakdown, I feel like death from one day to the next, I can't sleep at night, I can't function, I can't get out of bed. Then, the next day, I am okay again!! Then, a couple of days later, BOOM. I crash again, my mind loses control, I want to die, I hate everything, I quit everything. I lose everything, my new car, my apartment, everything. 3 weeks later, I am back on my feet again, feeling great, new job, everything is wonderful and then BOOM, I crash again... no reason. I just wake up feeling like death (depersonalization). I heard bipolars can function on little sleep. NOT ME! If I don't get enough sleep, I feel like hell and my mind feels all crappy, like depersonalization. Hard to explain, I don't know if I am bipolar or not. I have no insurance or a dollar to my name, so hoping I can seek some advice here. Thanks.
poster:oldschool305
thread:800731
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071213/msgs/800731.html