Posted by willyee on August 31, 2005, at 15:44:54
In reply to Re: Linkadge, posted by linkadge on August 31, 2005, at 15:04:27
> I took worked up to 40mg of parnate over a month and stayed there for about 8 months.
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> It was good at first, stimulating and rewarding, but it seemed to intensify. My thoughts started to beome darker over the course of time. It started to feel like I had smoked some bad marajuanna.
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> I found myself thinking constantly of all the things I had done wrong. I felt very guilty about them and found it very hard to find resolution.
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> It could have been the depression getting worse, and not the parnate at all.
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> After I had swiched to clomipramine things started to get a lot better. My mood seemed to brighten. It may have just been that it was a better drug for me.
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> To answer second question I have tried to go my summer off meds. Doctors say it is unwise, and maybe it is. Some things are a lot better off meds some things are a lot worse.
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> I too have a lot of obsessions, and become preocupied with thoughts of severe brain dammage etc etc.
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> I believe the meds have caused some dammage. But I think about killing myself a *lot* so I will probably have to go back on them.
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> I think the above comment more than probuably
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> shows u should go back on meds,whether or not they are in the long run is understandable debate,but right now u r aware of this horrable thought about hurting urself,and all i can say is if u like many other people here are capable of offering this kind of support to people,this kind of knowledge,then i can just imagine aside from the board what the world would be loosing if a lot of us gave in.If you myself and others are capble of offering such great support to people here,im sure we dont realise how much we do for others around us in real life.
I dont have thoughts of hurting myself,im way to chicken for that,but i do wish a LOT that i just would vanisi h without a trace.
Outside my body i can see how much i wanna live,im sure u can too,its a horror how are brain chemisty can totaly munipulate this into making us feel we dont want to exist anymore.
Please,ur smart enough here to know u have to do quickly what u know u have,and qwell those totaly irrational thoughts u just mentioned above.
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poster:willyee
thread:548887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050827/msgs/549262.html