Posted by 4WD on May 18, 2005, at 20:37:52
In reply to Re: Morning Terror. Please, please read this. » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2005, at 20:17:36
> Marsha, When it gets dark and it's okay to be inside and doing nothing I seem to be better. Like when it's daytime I should be productive. I don't want to clean, I don't work anymore, I follow my husband to work. He is a graphics designer painter on boats. Very talented. He went to work on his own because of me. My clinginess and having to have him home by a certain hour. Until he was home I rode my bike around and around because I was scared to be in the house alone. Now that he's working on his own I can go with him and I just do "grunt" work or something. I was a very successful Rn, and expert witness in malpractice cases able to testify in court. And I always won our cases. Then I started small dose of paxil l0mg with the benzos I've taken for years. Since then it's been downhill. I don't know if it's the meds or not that calm me down. Because there is added stress in my life now I took an ambien last night with the valium and still woke up. So I tried some chloral hydrate then. The same thing. So I really don't think it's the meds. Does anyone have an answer? Feel free to Babblemail me anytime. Fondly, Phillipa
Hi Phillipa,
I don't think for me it's the "okay to be inside at night" issue. Because some days it goes away as early as 2pm, some days at around 4. Bad days it doesn't go away til about 8 or 9. Real bad days not till 11 or not at all. I can sometimes actually feel it "lifting up and away" from my body. Several times I've felt it start to go away and looked at the clock to note: today it went away at 3:47." That's without taking klonopin or any other benzo.
I was addicted to Ativan about 20-25 years ago. I took 5mg at night for sleep for years. I got very depressed, went to the doctor, he said: you don't need to be on tranquilizers, you need to be on an antidepressant. That's why you're depressed." So I quit the Ativan, cold turkey after ten years on it. I never want to go through that again, that's why I'm so scared of benzodiazepines. But right now I have no choice. I can take klonopin or go to the psych ward.
You still have morning terror even though you're on valium? Does it wear off during the night? Could you take a longer acting drug? Has your doctor given you any reason for the morning fear? I keep thinking it must be physical, since it started relatively suddenly and it's so intense.
What dose of valium do you take?
I hate this disease. It has taken my life from me.Marsha
poster:4WD
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