Posted by tom_traubert on April 29, 2005, at 10:06:34
In reply to Re: Bipolar 3?, posted by Phillipa on April 28, 2005, at 18:44:02
Thanks for the feedback, it's good to hear.
I guess I'm scared to go on medication. It sucks. For 6 years I've been able to stave it off, but in reality, my life hasn't been that great. Even on the best days, half my energy is spent organizing my thoughts and protecting against calamity. It's exhausting. I feel that if I start taking meds, I won't ever be able to get off, and that maybe whatever mix I get may trigger another manic episode or make me depressed and I'll start having to take a whole bunch of stuff. My identity for 6 years has been my strength in being able to cope without meds. I don't view anyone who is on meds as it's their fault, I really don't, all I have is compassion and hope for them, but for myself, going back on meds feels like failure. It's just frightening: the withdrawal was HELL, and as far as the mania, it's a miracle I'm still alive. Really. I feel I've made so much progress, and now this is huge step backwards.
Or it's just whining. Do what you have to do to make your life better and that's it, nothing more I guess. It's great to have people to talk to about this.
Thanks for listening.
tt
poster:tom_traubert
thread:490598
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050428/msgs/491411.html