Posted by Chris O on March 23, 2005, at 1:58:03
In reply to Re: Could it just be anxiety/panic?, posted by jessers11581 on March 22, 2005, at 20:47:54
<Have you ever convinced yourself that there was something seriously physically wrong with you, like that you had some illness or disease?>
Oh, gosh, this is like the story of my life. I've probably imagined I had every kind of disease since I was little. Cancer, heart attack, liver toxicity, kidney failure, ruptured disk, infection in limb leading to amputation, eisonmyalgia syndrome (from l-typtophan), tumor, blah, blah, blah, it just goes on and on. And for me, if it's not physical, then it becomes spiritual. Or then it becomes economic. I know that, for me, the root of my GAD is a complete, or a profound feeling of insecurity growing up around my mom. That and the fact that she "rewarded me" emotionally for being sick, dependant. The worst part of this is...I have exposed myself to so much unnecessary radiation from x-rays from testing my worries. However, I have had enough "real health problems" to always keep me thinking in the back of my mind, "Is this real or is it my GAD?" A safe bet is it's my GAD, but...my mind usually, subconsciously, does not go in that direction. It's like it was programmed into me and subverts my will. I continue to hope and to do my best. I probably should be some med all the time, but I just hate meds so much...I worry that they hurt my body even more than my worrying. So, all I can say is: Oh, the friggin' joys of an anxiety disorder.
Sincerely,
Chris
poster:Chris O
thread:474142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050322/msgs/474415.html