Posted by Cecilia on October 24, 2004, at 3:42:22
In reply to Re: Be thankful for their honesty » Cecilia, posted by Ilene on October 23, 2004, at 12:20:52
Why didn`t therapy help me? I just don`t know. I`ve obsessed and obsessed about this. Number one: inability to trust. Fear of getting better. Transference, countertransference, resistance. Feeling that getting better =losing my therapist. Feelng that getting better=my mother won. Feeling that getting better=my therapist won. Extreme social phobia and anxiety. Feeling that I didn`t deserve to get better. Self-hate. Shame. The list could go on forever. Obviously, this was psychodynamic therapy, though once in a whie she`d try to throw in a few CBT principles. I just don`t respond to the CBT stuff at all, though most pdocs think it`s "scientific" and the only thing that works. To me, it`s so invalidating, trying to make yourself believe "rational" thoughts that aren`t true. Yes, I`ve tried it too, though only for a short time, not the 632 sessions I spent with my psychodynamic therapist, because I was so obsessed with her, so desperately hoping it would work, so lonely. Towards the end she told me "I can`t help you, you obviously need to be depressed." Maybe that`s true. I don`t even know who I`d be if I weren`t depressed. Cecilia
poster:Cecilia
thread:404563
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041018/msgs/406548.html