Posted by jonh kimble on October 11, 2004, at 20:07:06
In reply to Re: Utopizen, ame sans vie, tepiaca...... » jonh kimble, posted by utopizen on October 10, 2004, at 15:28:38
ya i know. man I see other people and I see them talk so free and easy, looking like they love every moment of their existence. I walk around hoping i wont have to talk to anyone. im unbearably miserable most of the time but then i take some stims/ benzos and its like I see why people are alive. why people do things, hows possible to make mistakes and by doing so you learn more and have more fun. I remember that beautiful things like love and sex and talking and laughing and achieving and standing up and being proud exist. I live! Then they stop, I feel worse, and like now I cant stand my miserable existence, and like you, Ive waisted years on medline reasearch, probaly spent thousands of dollars on this miracle or that. Why cant I talk to people! Why cant I believe in myself. I really have what youd call avoidant personality. I can talk to someone by forcing myself, and as soon as they show interest in me I evacuate the situation like theres no tomorow. The way things are going I, dont see anything getting better. Why does everyone have to like me? I wanna give group Cognitive Behavioural therapy for social anxiety a shot. Maybe its time to forget the stupid drugs and face this hard and really effective way. What do you think?
poster:jonh kimble
thread:401023
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/401850.html