Posted by jasmineneroli on June 22, 2004, at 0:20:46
In reply to Re: need general support !!!! help » shadows721, posted by snapper on June 21, 2004, at 22:51:22
Hey Snapper:
The ECT treatments sound like something from "A Clockwork Orange"..really horrifying and a trifle primitive. If you are committed to the rest of the treatments, I think you are very brave and wish you well. I hope it solves your problems.
The symptoms you describe sound exactly like my GAD symptoms. I do not have depression, but can be "depressed" over the constant anxiety, if you understand what I mean. There's a subtle difference. I too isolated myself, cuz I just couldn't cope. And I had feelings that were quasi-suicidal.....more like I just wish I could fall asleep and never wake up. Once I was sitting in my car on a cold winter's day, having just driven home and parked. I was warm and listening to nice music and felt " I just want to pump my car full of carbon monoxide and stay relaxed like this and never wake up". It wasn't like " life is so awful, that at 8pm I'm gonna take a bottle of pills and end it all" I didn't ever have "a plan". I just had feelings of needing relief/release of the constant worrying and thinking and stomach-knotting anxiety.
I also had the brain-numbing confusion and memory loss, as my brain shut down due to stressor overload, from time to time. I simply "couldn't think". It's really, really awful. I truly empathize with your experiences. I am glad you have support from your family, you need and deserve it. You should know that you have the support of all us here at Babble. Everyone here has been through something (or is still)and will understand your suffering.
I've been on the benzodiazepine, Klonopin for the past 10 months, and it's the only med (of about 6) that has ever helped me. I don't have that helpless, "let me outta this pain" feeling now. Most of my anxiety is gone, but it does flare up sometimes and I still have the "racing thoughts" and memory losses. Maybe, you could suggest to your doc that you have GAD predominantly, and the depression is secondary to that, cuz you have been in a constant state of anxiety for so long???
Whatever treatment plan you choose, I wish you the very best of luck!
Jas
poster:jasmineneroli
thread:358384
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040621/msgs/358849.html