Posted by vwoolf on December 31, 2003, at 3:15:32
In reply to Re: Schizophrenia - Fluanxol » vwoolf, posted by Mimi on December 30, 2003, at 15:48:09
Dear Mimi,
Thanks very much for the reading list - I have already ordered the first two of the books from Amazon, as neither of them are available locally, but it looks like they will only get here on the 11th Feb - the joys of living on the margins of the world!
Funny this strain of childhood abuse that seems to run through us all. It seriously makes me wonder about the biological nature of our illnesses. I think this is one of the reasons I am so sceptical about the use of medication, apart from the fact that I have huge issues of trust, particularly towards psychiatrists and male authority figures.
I loved the story about walking miles to another chemist's. I haven't faced the chemist yet (I leave that battle for another day), but I did something similar. Just before Christmas, I was feeling very scared and alone with my secret, and felt that I had to tell at least some doctor about the diagnosis and the fact that I had decided not to take the medication, just in case anything really crazy happened to me before my psychiatrist came back from his summer holidays. However, I really didn't want to see my GP, who knows all my family's issues intimately, and who I was sure would judge me. I went instead to a GP I used to see about twenty years ago. He gave me a really hard time about being someone else's patient, but he eventually heard me out and has agreed to handle any issues of this kind for me. It was such a relief to be able to talk to him that I howled for most of the session.
It was comforting to know that you have all had issues of fear of stigma - makes me almost feel sane again LOL.
As for avoiding stress, that's a hard one. I am the breadwinner of my family and can't afford to be unemployed, I have a stressful job, a difficult marriage, a gifted son (IQ 150+) who has just failed his school year, an 82 year old mother who is increasingly dependent on me.... need I continue?
I am also really enjoying this conversation and would really like to continue it. I will be flying to Knysna, 500 km east of Cape Town for a New Year's eve party tonight so will be offline for about 24 hours, but I'll be back home tomorrow afternoon and ready to continue.
I have also been an English teacher and school principal working with research institutes on the area of language acquisition, before returning here and managing several NGO's. The work I am doing at present is not related to this at all, and is causing me a huge amount of stress. I am completing a graduate degree in law as well, but have just failed two of my year end exams because I was not coping. I might just take the year off my studies next year - it might just be the last straw.
Looking forward to continuing this conversation.
Bestest
Virginia
> >Yes Virginia, it was living hell. I was a teacher at the time. Believe me, you do not want to go off the deep end. I had night terrors also, which are nightmares magnified exponentially. Language was my life.
>
> Yes, I was thrilled when I became able to easily read and write several months ago.
>
> You have been horribly traumatized in your life, to say the least.
>
> My father abused me emotionally/psychologically, forever (until I stopped seeing him at age 37). I was anorexic between the ages of 12 and 15 and thus had a hard time reaching adulthood. And yes, there was the constant depression.
>
> I have had many diagnoses, though the most accurate are double depression and PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). The main issue is the set of symptoms, really.
>
> I have been on an editorial advisory board of a psychiatric survivor newspaper for 6 years (I live in the States).
>
> Here's the short answer for reading material:
> http://www.nami.org/
> www.narsad.org
> An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
> Touched with Fire by Kay Redfield Jamison
> I Can't Get Over It (about PTSD) by A. Matsakis, PhD
> Darkness Visible by William Styron
> The PDR (Physicians Desk Reference)
> The above resources are all starting places for your education about your disorder.
>
> Remove as much stress from your life as you can.
>
> I'm enjoying this conversation.
>
> Please take care of yourself. It would be terrible to lose your hardwon achievements.
>
> Feel free to ask me more.
>
> Mimi
>
poster:vwoolf
thread:294585
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031225/msgs/294992.html