Posted by socialdeviantjeff on November 16, 2003, at 4:17:16
Are the drugs making me more crazy, or am I beginning to get in touch with my inner crazy person?
This is but one of the many of my meandering thoughts tonight.
My cocktail for the last couple weeks or so has been 200 mg Tegretol and 37.5 mg Effexor 2x daily.
In case you don't remember, I'm one of those people that don't tolerate meds well and usually end up with bad toxic reactions.
So far on the meds end, The foggy mental cloud from the last few trials is going away. I think I have the Effexor to thank for that. I still have occasional tremors and my memory is not what it used to be, but less I remember, the better. Maybe. I've been on the Tegretol for 6 weeks, and I can't get past 200 mg, which is 1/2 the right theraputic level. Tried to up it a little last night, it wasn't pleasant. As far as the Effexor, I feel very numb emotionally. I really have no interest in doing or maintaining anything. I have a constant low grade headache. I get odd muscle cramps, and my coordination is pretty bad. I am weak. I get chest pains, but my BP and pulse are normal when I check them. I am also irritated at nearly everything and my anxiety and hostility are worse. Suicidal ideations are down, thoughts of hurting self are up.
On the upside, I actually have some energy for a few hours before I crash and become useless.
Sometimes research gets confusing. I feel the need to know why I have these crzy reactions to meds and why I feel the way I have physically for years. So far, the posibilities are Multiple Chemical Sensetivity Syndrome, some kind of High Functioning Autism, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromangia, renal disorders and hepatic disorders. Most of these these thing do overlap, and without tests I'll never know for sure. Hello, Medicaid.
It sucks to not know what normal is. I've had my troubles as long as I can remember. As a kid, I was probably dysthemic and certainly socially phobic. Now I'm double-depressive with atypical traits and Generalized Axiety disorder.
well gotta wrap up. Tired enough to sllep now. Any thoughts on any of this stuff is appreciated.
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:280206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031116/msgs/280206.html