Posted by natas4u on July 25, 2003, at 16:33:43
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read » Cass, posted by furryz on July 24, 2003, at 10:26:40
It is great to find people that share the same feeling. I was begening to think it was my imagination. My derealization is permanent, although if I panic or I concentrate I can make it disapear for a split second. I always thought that I had the special hability to sea the world in a more intense way. Recently I realised that those split seconds of intensity are what normal people sense all the time, not me being a magic elve with mental powers. No body notices this in my conduct unless I tell them. It's just on all the time and I really can't imagine life with out it, although I am determined to beat it now that I now it. I guess that is why I cope pretty good. I also have a story of violence in my child hood and actually I think it is quite simple to relate to panic atacks that are at the same time induced by traumatick experiences, although I am no expert. I am quite sure derealization is a way of the body to cope with panic atacks, it makes the exterior imput have less impact in your system, reducing whatever makes you be afraid. Problem is it's a general shut down, for what other type of feelings will also be lighter. I guess the more permanent , in time and intensity, the panic feeling is in the unconsciouss the more your body has to make use of the numbing effect of the exterior world (and the interior). Have it as an example: You are in a jungle and all of a suden you encounter a lion. You know he is hungry and you look deliciouss. First you will panic, but if that is the only thing you do it will eat you for supper, because instead if climbing to a tree you will freeze in horror. What you need is control of your emotions in order to escape, for what they have to be less intense. Be lucid enough to climb a tree (this is the awarness that keeps people from noticing us all the time), but not feel enough to be in panic again (derealization). I know my unconciouss has a lion waiting for me when I stop being numb (that fstidious capability of the mind to be scared of things that are no longer there) I've seen it when I get panick attacks. Believe it or not I'm provocking them to convince the part of me that thinks I am still going to get beat that there is no longer nothing to be afraid of. It is this state of permanent alert that lays beneath the aparent calm that has me so tired and might even get me confused with lack of stamina or a little depressive. I am not sure about this but anti-depressives ussualy act upon the quantity of Serotonine in your brain, they make you have more. For what I have read serotonine makes you more active and I am quite sure that is what people like me don't need. So I can relate to being less capable of realizating my self when taking anti-depressives. I think there is way to little studies of this type of disorder and I think it is a mistake., as i think fear and conscience of death is very widly extended in trauma victims. Sorry for extending my self, but I have really thought a lot about this and I really felt very lonely. Needed to know the existence of people like you. Today is a happy day
poster:natas4u
thread:8172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030723/msgs/245265.html