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Believing you are really nuts

Posted by Squiggles on May 24, 2003, at 8:39:21

I was thinking about this last night;
and i think my *real* problem with bipolar
disorder, is that i have never *really* believed
that this was true of me.

I am a sceptical person and do not believe
things on faith. I have reasons not to believe
that i was ever really permanently, endogenously,
nuts. The reasons are many -- but among them

- my relatives never believed it even when i
showed them articles, med. literature, testimony
of my doctors, etc.

- my husband never believed it (at first - he
said "i never ever saw you show any signs of
being mentally ill"), but after my involvement
with the anti-psych. group i may have just
driven him to the brink - and how he says, yes
there is no doubt that what i had was not
withdrawal from Valium but bipolar disorder;

- the arguments prsented by much of the
anti-psych. literature of mental health are
moving;

- there is the question of habituation to drugs
or addiction, in one case i got rid of panic
attacks by quitting Xanax, thereby casting
doubt on the real cause of panic disorder as
the DSM categorizes it;

- i have very little knowledge about neurochemistry
and so must accept things on faith;

- the symptoms of bipolar disorder can result from
many causes, among them withdrawal;

- trauma and stress can make you transiently nuts;
which was the case around the time i was diagnosed.

So basically, i have trouble believing that i ever
was truly bipolar (despite the symptoms) because
of the reasons and others, above, and because i
am uncomfortable placing my belief on ignorance.

Maybe, that is why i am somewhat non-compliant.
Deep down, I believe that my dr. may also be
sceptical. But because it is so difficult to
get off drugs after a long time, the welfare of
the patient takes precedence over the certainty
and knowledge in psychiatric diagnosis. After all,
that is what the raison d'etre of medicine is:
to alleviate pain and suffering - mental or physical.


Squiggles


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poster:Squiggles thread:228796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030520/msgs/228796.html