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obsessions and grief

Posted by babs on May 11, 2003, at 20:31:59

I'm having a really hard time right now. My mother died April 8th after a very short battle with stomach cancer(and yes- today is Mother's Day :(. Ever since she died my obsessions have been getting much worse. The weirdest part is they have nothing to do with her death. All my obsessions are about my relationship with my boyfriend- that maybe I don't love him, that he doesn't love me, that I can't marry him (I panic when I think about weddings). They cause me significant distress because really, next to my mom, he's the person I love most in the world and I can't imagine ever being without him. I read somewhere that OCD is particularly vicious in that it usually attacks the things you love the most- if that's true, then it makes sense my obsessions would be about him. When I feel "normal" the thought of marrying hime makes me very happy but I have been so obsessive lately it's been miserable. Does it make sense that my obsessions would be worse under stress? I actually feel like they are getting in the way of me grieving my mother's death. I'm on celexa and risperdal which was pretty much keeping them under control until my mom died. My pdoc gave me ativan the other day to take as needed but I need some extra help here. How can I get past them and get to the real business of grieving my mother's death?


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