Posted by Chloe on July 23, 2002, at 18:13:06
In reply to Re: ECT info needed!, posted by Dave1 on July 23, 2002, at 14:40:47
Dave, I am sorry you didn't have good follow up after your ECT. Was it a last resort for you? Or were you still having some good days, before you opted for ECT?
Dave or Mimi, did you have to be off all antiepileptic drugs? I take 250 mgs depakote and 600 neurontin + 10 of valium. God, I think if I tapered it would be hell. I am bearly hanging on with what I taking.
I still don't think I am depressed enough for ECT. I have been treatment resistant for over 20 years. I don't think I have felt "happy" (wired, agitated, yes) for more than a day or two in many years. I have never gotten a good, consistant response from meds(expect AP's), and I have had a lot of good therapy.
I just don't know what to do now. I can't imagine that this is as good as life gets. I have chronic emotional pain, at times agitated and suicidal. Other times, somewhat tolerable. But I don't enjoy very much, or *want* to do anything. And I am making those around me miserable.
Mimi, you mentioned that friends drove you to and from treatments, and others stayed with you at night. My friends have long faded away, and I keep my mental troubles discreet as possible from acquiatiances. How do you keep friends with major depression/rapid cycles? Don't answer if you don't want to...
I also have no family in the region, so they can't help me with treatments, etc. And I would hate to be locked up. That would be awful.The ECT doc called today while I was out about a consult. I am very frightened now. And I don't even have an appointment yet. Gosh, this just seems so risky since I am somewhat functional, but definitely in a rut. Meds aren't working and the mood stabilizers give me such awful side effects. But those I need the most, in leiu of AP's
Sorry for the anxious ramble.
Chloe
poster:Chloe
thread:113035
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020718/msgs/113447.html